Hi all My problems are complex, so here goes. My 36yr old husband after ten yrs of marriage (abusive), left me for a 19yr old girl. Thats fine with me, I'm way over it and have a wonderful new man. The problem is the girl was a JW and now he has joined the church. He is also Bi-polar, a control freak and obsessive. He has the children one night a fortnight and half of the school holidays. He takes them to church, etc. The kids are 9,7 and 5. I am not religous at all and either was my ex at the time. It has been nearly two yrs since he left and the kids have forgotten the abuse that we suffered. They now think he is the most wonderful guy in the world, they also won't stop talking about church, JW, etc. I also found out through conversations with the children that because the girl was a JW and slit up our marriage she is not allowed to talk to anyone else from the church, when she goes to church she can only enter after everyone else, she must lower her head and not speak. She must also leave first without being seen and sit in the car until my ex has finished talking, this could be hours later. I fear that this whole thing will leave my children with a slanted view on life, they may fall vicim to the church and think that people should be treated this way. Please help me as I don't know how to deal with this issue. If anyone can give me some insite, ideas, etc. Thanks Andy
Can anyone give me advice?
by Palsnpets 4 Replies latest jw experiences
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jgnat
she is not allowed to talk to anyone else from the church, when she goes to church she can only enter after everyone else, she must lower her head and not speak. She must also leave first without being seen and sit in the car until my ex has finished talking, this could be hours later.
And so the abuse continues. By the way, this treatment is only temporary, perhaps six months. When this girl runs through her punishment she will be warmly welcomed in to the fold. I wonder how long THIS marriage will last?
I fear that this whole thing will leave my children with a slanted view on life, they may fall vicim to the church and think that people should be treated this way. Please help me as I don't know how to deal with this issue. If anyone can give me some insite, ideas, etc. Thanks Andy
Sure you run that risk. All divorced parents run that risk. You've got the added complication of a high-control ex involved in a high-control religion. Your ex, being who he is, is going to mess with your children's heads. The best you can do is be the better parent. That means, no badmouthing him or his religion in front of the children, being consistently loving, generous and fair, and for the cult side of things, teach your children to think independently. Materials on critical thinking skills for children can be found at www.criticalthinking.org
I might suggest negotiating restricted time at the Kingdom Hall, or perhaps cutting all field service for the children (door-to-door). But your ex is not a reasonable man. I suspect you are going to have to grit and bear it.
I was twenty years a single parent, actively involved in a support group all that time. I saw children pit one parent against the other. Very often in their teens, they would leave for the irresponsible parent based on empty promises. Within a short time, the irresponsible parent gets bored and kicks the poor teen on the curb. Invariably the young adult comes back, smarting, but much wiser.
It's worth it to take the high road. You will win your children's hearts in the long run.
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drew sagan
Jgnat said:
I might suggest negotiating restricted time at the Kingdom Hall, or perhaps cutting all field service for the children (door-to-door). But your ex is not a reasonable man. I suspect you are going to have to grit and bear it.
I will add that any pressure or resistance to the JW lifestyle is will be viewed as persecution from satan. You will be labeled as an agent of Satan if you outright oppose this religion. I agree with the advice above that it is very important for you to remain calm, don't try to force anything on them, and be the loving parent. As long as there is more love coming from you there is hope. Don't turn in to what they (JWs) want you to be. They want you spiteful, angry, and mean. They want to to hatefully oppose them. I think you understand that this is not the time to engage this in such a manner.
I was brought into this religion at the age of 15 (I was invited by a friend to attend). Against my parents wishes they where able to convince me that I needed to study the Bible with them (Without my parents knowing). Over the course of the following years they demonized my parents, saying that the devil would use them to break my relationship with Jehovah. This backfired on them in my case. My parents are good people. All of the hate they tried to push on them made me feel unconmfortable and angry. I felt they where out of line and it affected me.
Take your time and give your children as much love as possible. I think now is also the time to learn more about JWs. This forum is a great place to start. There are also a number of good books on the subject. I also agree that helping your kids understand critical thinking can be an amazing tool.
I wish the best for you and hope you let us know how things are going. This board is a great resource with alot of great people on it. We can help answer many of your questions.
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FuzzyPaul
Hi and welcome,
There is so much dirt about the Watchtower Society that if your children are of normal intelligence they would vomit at what they are and have been into. Sorry this is long but any such discussion is far longer.
Google or MSN search word/ phrase pairs such as "Watchtower Occult" "Watchtower United Nations" / "Watchtower NGO" "Watchtower Scandal" "Charles Taze Russell Freemason" "Charles Taze Russell Pyramid" (Charles Taze Russell was the founder of the Watchtower) visit Bill Bowens site www.silentlambs.org ; www.freeminds.org ; www.premier1.net/~raines/hate.html (While this doctor is an-exJW I don't endorse his choice of Doctrines, I differ on trinity, hellfire, immortal soul) ; www.watchtowerinformationservice.org ; www.randyTV.vom (Randy is a bit off center but his site is full of stuff) visit the www.UN.org website and serach for "Watchtower" you will find a document about the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society of NewYork Inc's United Nations membership which was a huge flap. Since the UN's weblink was broken last I checked - to change it to a PDF file - I put the UN.org URL for it below.
If you find something about demonic images being hidden in illustrations in their books use it find how to fold the picture on page132 of the "Knowledge that leads to Everlasting Life" book and it becomes a "Skull over a pyramid".
Get a copy of the book "You can Live Forever on Paradise on Earth" turn to page 93 and look at the left side of the waterfall - it is a profile of a Skull with the upper jaw missing and looks similar to the "Skull" at Golgotha in the cliff wall - WORSE YET - turn it upside down ; I photocopied it at 200%; the Skull profile is a womans face drawn in profile (large) and she is looking left at two men (smaller and just to the right of the woman seen bathing behind the others) looking right and downward at a small person (a child?) whose hands are bound and pullked up over its head! There is a cross at the right man's shoulder the other man is on his left shoulder and there seems to be a stylized Devil face looking on behind the child. I showed this to a Med Doctor I know and he was WOWed that a child sacrifice to the Devil would be pictured there. Once you see the images you can't not see them. It is well known that perverse and pornographic images are embedded in advertising called "Subliminal advertising". A web search gets docs that were papers submitted to University for degree work and so-on. That the WT puts over 100 known such yucky things in their illustrations matches their Occult origins.
Freemasonry at its highest degree levels is considered by most Fundamentalist Christians and myself to be pure Occult and Satanism. Pyramids including his Pittsburg PA cemetary monument, The Cross and Crown symbol, using phrases such as "trying the angles and squares", Pagan Egypt religious symbols such as Winged Sun Disk, and quotes of Russell indicate strongly that he was a 33rd degree Freemanson and in the Honor Society called "Knights Templar" therein. Wycopedia (spelling off on that name) "Knights Templar". Respectfully, conspiracy theorists and their detractors will go toe to toe over the FreeMason ... ideas but regardless it is a wacky thing for a guy who invented "THE [not so] TRUE RELIGION" to be so enamored with their "Club" and weirdnesses and to use their symbolisms in the Watchtower publications.
A weirdness of Free-Mason membership is that one must be Christian even though all manner of occult and witchcraft symbols are used by them including pentagrams / pentangles. Free-masons started the Mormon and Christian Science religions also. The WT gives one a 2nd or 3rd grade bible education and the rest is indoctrination into the organization. The deeper one gets into the WT, the more secrets one is privy to.
I used their Greek Interlinear of The New Testament called "The Kingdom Interlinear" and found that a word for word translation of the Greek into English read diferently from the Watchtowers marginal and Official New World Translation reading. It was so frequent that using it at meetings for a while opened my eyes about how they altered the Scriptures they use. AND, there is no "New World" in the Bible, but there is a "New World Order" which is a One World Government by man-made means and attributed to the Free-Masons.
Books by Raymond Franz (He is alive but not so well ex-member of the Governing Body of The Watchtower) such as "Crisis of Conscience" document their bullshit and lies and offensive manners. Other authors also expose things but many are technical analysis and retorts to WT published ideas for ex-J Witnesses to un-learn their mind-control and brain-washing and deceits. See Websters for the def of Brain-washing it fits their M.O.
http://www.un.org/dpi/ngosection/pdfs/watchtower.pdf
I hope the best for you, May I suggest that you visit some pastors in your area for advice and support. I have and found that I didn't have to join to get help, most acted like any one of my neighbors and were refreshing. Also, I have been so happy with the folks in Churches. Maybe, likely I think, your kids are "Church Hungry" and any religion would appeal but the WT is a very bad choice.
Love,
Paul
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BabaYaga
Hello and welcome, PalsNPets!!!
You have come to the right place. Peruse these pages and see that yes, definitely, they will certainly get a distorted view of life.
Stand your ground, they are your kids and be thankful he only sees them once a month.
We're glad you're here.
Cheers,
Baba.