(Taken from my blog)
So someone on www.jehovahs-witness.com discussion board told me to expand my support group beyond JWs so that my world won't fall apart when I leave. This is probably the best advice anyone has ever given me, so I'm taking it.
Actually, it's a bit easier for me than others since most of my family is not in the religion. So I will make sure to get closer to that family before the axe drops.
Before that, though, I'm getting in closer with some of my "bad association, independent thinker" old-friends in JW who I think might not shun me (at least secretely) when the big DF/DA comes. These are people that know me, and love me, true friends. Not fellow JWs who are just looking for "association", people who's concern for me goes beyond the JW rulebook. These are also people who I have history with.
So right now there are 4 of them.
1) My "R-rated movie watchin" best friend
2) My DFed female friend
3) My "super worldly" friend who's dating a non-witness
4) My other "super worldly" female friend I lost touch with
Aside from the first person, the rest on the list have been/will be a challenge to reestablish friendship with without blowing cover. After all, they're either DFed or "marked" bad associates. (For those who don't know, people who march to the beat of their own drum in JW are "marked" as bad association, and shunned, although to a lesser extent as disfellowshipped people)
1) I've been trying to through little things at my R-rated movie watchin best friend like about myspace for example. I said "You know, I think they just like to demonize anything that's popular" he agreed. I took that as a good sign.
2) I searched, emailed, text messaged my DFed female friend to no avail. I think even if she heard from me, she'd shun ME and has probably written me off. Im gonna have to leave her for last, pay for one of those find a person things on the internet, and leave a letter in her door. All this most likely after my exit
3) I've had a hard time tracking down my super worldly dating a non-witness friend, but I'm not alarmed yet. I'll keep calling and leaving messages, maybe an email telling him that "I Don't Care and I Don't Judge"
I expect he's taking A LOT of heat for this and might be shunning JWs ahead of time to avoid being harrassed about it
4) My super-worldy female friend I lost touch with. I was able to get through to her after about a month through email and txt messages. I think she felt snubbed by me since I ignored her a bit since I got married. We were sortoff an item at one point and well, you know. None of this matters anymore to me. What matters is that she's known me for 6 years and is quite possibly a double agent herself. She's definitely one of the "bad" witnesses. An eccentric, independent thinker.
These people are gonna be my lifeblood when the ship goes down. Thank GOD for my family being there too. they'll understand but do to my JW "stay away during holiday time" I'm not so close to them. (really sad)
So Im stocking up friendship for the winter of my exiting the WT. Wish me the best...
Still Groggy: Double Agent's Blog #002 - "Stocking up for the 'winter'"
by StillGroggy 2 Replies latest jw experiences
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StillGroggy
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OnTheWayOut
It is your life, but be careful about stocking up on DF'ed worldly and super-worldy FEMALE friends.
That will work great for the wife at divorce court, lots of pictures of you sneaking around meeting
women. FAMILY, that's different. DF'ed male friends or couples, that's different.
If I ever get up the nerve to start meeting with JWD posters, it will only be men, and couples, and
the rare meeting with a woman for coffee, but clearly meeting in a public place and leaving separately.
I would love to meet Blondie (because she's so smart and on the point) but I would prefer to meet her
with her significant other.I just say this because, as a male, I know we don't constantly have one motive in meeting women,
but that motive is there above most of the rest. Wives certainly wouldn't trust us. -
StillGroggy
OntheWayOut,
Good advice. Trust me, I've already thought about this. There won't be any secret meetings, just some email leading up to a "Hey, what do you think of the org" and "Hey, I'm getting announced this tuesday" Besides, we're still in the same social circle, so I can keep casual contact with her without a problem.
As for the DFed friend, that one's super risky so I won't be trying that until I'm DFed myself.