The Best way to talk with my JW sister???

by Grog 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • Grog
    Grog

    Hello all

    I have a younger sister who is 15 and very willing to debate the witness doctrine with me. She is planning on getting baptized in about 6 months and I'm against it and even my witness mom who has been a witness for 15 years thinks she should wait. But of course my sister is getting it from all angles with a study and an older sister who is a fresh baptism and very fervent for the "truth".

    She counts time we debate as study time and is willing to really talk with me and look stuff up in the bible I bring up.

    I'm wondering for those that have had sucess in this arena what are the best tools and methods to try to ... umm open her eyes?


    I can probably use any avenue for this but she has the mindset like any good witness that they are the truth and the only ones that teach the truth. Therefore they are infallible in her eyes. I just want her to stop and think about it perhaps.


    Thanks

    Grog

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    I will think about the conversations you could have, but the first one needs to be a reminder of what will happen to her if she decides at any point later to leave after having been baptised. With her mom and at least one sister 'in the truth' she will be absolutely cut off from them if she leaves. Baptism can wait.

  • Lady Liberty
    Lady Liberty

    Dear Grog,

    One of the very best things you can do is show her the very foundation on which the whole organization is supported is a farce. Do this by asking her to prove 607 without using the Societys literature. For without this date, there is no 1914, and there is no identifying the faithful slave. All that is left is a small group running and ruining thousands of peoples lives. My husband and I were VERY active and strong Witnesses. This subject was the key to "Pandoras" box for us. And it has been for many others!! I wish you well in what ever you decide to bring up...the UN involvement issue, the Jesus isn't your Mediator issue, the Blood issue are but a few suggestions.

    Sincerely,

    Lady Liberty

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    The best thing you can do is ask questions to help her mind see that there are things wrong with her belief structure.

    My daughter had a few worldly friends, and was 13 at the time. I asked what they had done that God would want to kill her friends. What sort of God is going to kill 6 billion people? She found that hard to reconcile. That then can lead into the idea of why she is a JW. Because she was raised as one. And what if she was raised as a Mormon, what religion would she believe was the true religion?

    The other thing that hit my daughter was the term Pastor Russell. She felt that was wierd. When I explained that he started the religion she was blown away. She had thought there were always JWs. That led to me being able to give a history of the WTS, how it started in the 1800s along with lots of other similar US religions, such as SDAs Mormons and Christadelphians. Then I showed her all the symbols and crazy teachings they had. They are listed at http://jwfacts.com/index_files/davinci.htm After that she lost total respect for the Organization and has no intention of ever being a JW.

    I wish you success with your sister. She seems a lot more into it than my daughter, so you will have a harder time convincing her. What you should do though is make very clear to her that 75% of JW kids end up leaving. If she changes her mind in a few years and gets disfellowshipped it will mean she will barely be allowed to ever talk to her mother and friends ever again. Is she old enough to make such a life long committement? Does she know enough about what others believe and how they think to be 100% certain only she knows truth?

  • BabaYaga
    BabaYaga

    JWFacts you always have great discussion points.

    First of all, Grog, you're in a good place to plant seeds because I take it you are not a baptized witness? WooHOOooo!!! Let her keep counting those "bookstudy" hours with you, Baby!

    I recently asked a similar question myself... and had great success with the following:

    First of all, above all else, do not be condescending. Never imply that they are stupid for being where they are now. That will put up defenses and your good points will all go down the drain.

    Socratic method... Let them come to the correct conclusions in their own minds, by hearing their own mouths say it.

    Cognitive dissonance... (psychological conflict resulting from incongruous beliefs and attitudes held simultaneously) in asking your questions, allow them to answer definitively things that contradict each other... then lovingly ask another question that points out the contradiction.

    One thing that seems to work marvelously is to say, "I know that this is nearly impossible for you to do, but I must ask you to try, even just for a fraction of a second, to ponder the question, "What if they're wrong? (pause) What if all of the people who refuse blood every day are doing it for no reason? What if all the people who are disfellowshipped still have Jehovah's love and favor and protection, how would we know?" Or something to that effect.

    Also, ask them if they are willing to die instead of taking blood. (We know what the answer will be.) Then, say, "Did you know that the Society has changed its stance on blood several times in the past few years? First no blood and no organs, then organs were okay, and now they allow certain portions of blood to be used (blood fractions.) Did you know that originally they did not allow vaccinations? Did you know that there is a website now that includes presently presiding elders who are fighting for a reform on the blood issue? (and here it is... http://www.ajwrb.org/about.shtml ) When they change their stance on it again, how many faithful witnesses will have died for nothing?"

    Of course the UN thing is AMAZING. The letter is on the UN site, if they are old enough to remember the scarlet colored wild beast illustrations!

    Best of luck. Remember... PLANT SEEDS for thought... and then tread softly on the tilled soil and water delicately as needed.

  • rolling rock
    rolling rock

    Tell her she should wate till she is 18 to make that kind of choice. Ask her if she think's that she will still be in the same frame of mind 3,4, or 5 years down the line from now.(in all things. not just the JW's) God good she can't even drive a car yet) We all know the answere to that one. In fact, I beleave that you could use some of the WTBTS pub's to prove the point of ones age and thinking. To drive the point home...

  • Spectre
    Spectre

    Hey Grog, I ordered Crisis of Conscience from the book store in town. Essential reading.

  • Honesty
    Honesty

    Ask her if she is an 'Unbaptized Publisher' who goes door to door PREACHING the Good News. If she is, ask her to show you anywhere in the Bible where anyone began PREACHING the Good News BEFORE they were baptized. Then ask her to show you anywhere in the Bible where Jesus PREACHED the Good News BEFORE He was baptized.

  • Grog
    Grog

    Thanks everyone for all the reponses. I got plenty of stuff to try out. She might be a little young for the UN thing but I think the history of the witnesses is a good avenue to try. Appreciate the responses. I'm going to tread slowly and try not to overload her. I think my goal is to get her to wait over trying to get her out if it all right now. That will give me more time to work with... and who knows you still have alot of growing to do when you are 15. Oh ya I was raised in it and kinda faded when I moved out. I didn't really learn the truth about the truth until about 5 years later. I'm 11 years older than her. Thanks again Grog

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