A little help please:

by 2112 5 Replies latest jw friends

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  2112

  I put this in another thread but I would like to start a new one.

  I was a JW when I got married but I left about15 years ago, my wife is still in. Before we met she had a relationship (while she was a witness) with a guy and even had a child with him. (She did not get df’ed for this.) When my wife and I were dating we talked about sex, our likes and dislikes etc. She told me that she loved oral sex and was looking forward to marriage so she could do it with me. She said she tried anal sex but did not care for it, but she would try it with me if I wanted. This was good news to me.

  While trying to be good JW’s we had a study with an elder and his wife and a week before our wedding he wanted to study a WT article about marriage and sex in the marriage bed. I believe it was from 1985. Of course oral and anal sex was forbidden. On our wedding night my wife then tells me that she will not have oral or anal sex, because the WT said it was wrong. I know sex is not everything and I do love my wife. But it is a source of contention between us. So i could really use your help.

  Have there been any changes to this policy? I know they have been back and forth on this many times, but what is their current teaching. Please any info would be greatly appreciated.

  Thanks
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  brutusmaximus

  Sorry 2112 I don't know about the policy changes as I haven't been there for a long time but my view was always what goes on behind closed doors is no one elses bees wax so long as both are willing and no one forces something on the other. Personally I am not a fan of A but each to their own

  BM
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  AK - Jeff

  although I suspect they will not try to 'discipline' one for such nowadays - at least in most cases. They tended to backpeddle this doctrine some over the past few years, even stating that it would not necessarily lead even to the loss of 'privliges'.

  Here is a link with most of the WTS's articles over the years on the subject.

  http://quotes-watchtower.co.uk/oral_sex.html
• 

  NoMoreMeetings

  2112

  I believe that the current policy tells elders to not pry into the conduct between
  husband and wife.

  Wouldn't it be nice if you and your wife could apply the principle of "mutual respect"
  to your private lives, and not have a part of your lives which is nobody's business
  controlled by a "faithful slave"?

  Pray for her deliverance from this cult, and for a relationship with God through Jesus Christ,
  and not the "governing body".

  NMM
• 

  fokyc

  This may help you from 'The Flock Book',

  the latest thought seems to be, if it is agreeable to each partner in a marriage, anything is OK

  "It includes oral and anal sex or mutual masturbation
  between persons not married to each other,"

  so reading the converse means OK if you are married!

  fokyc
• 

  4JWY

  2112:

  Sorry for your position -

  A thread you may find of interest:

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/71147/1.ashx