English the official language

by ania 1 Replies latest social humour

  • ania

    The European Union(EU) has just announced an agreement whereby
    > >English will be the official language of the EU rather than German,
    > >which was the other possibility.
    > >
    > >As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
    > >English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
    > >5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
    > >
    > >In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this
    > >will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
    > >
    > >The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
    > >konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
    > >
    > >There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
    > >troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words
    > >like fotograf 20% shorter.
    > >
    > >In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
    > >expekted to reach the stage where more komplikat ed changes are possible.
    > >
    > >Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
    > >always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
    > >
    > >Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
    > >languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
    > >
    > >By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
    > >"th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
    > >
    > >During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
    > >kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl
    > >rite n styl.
    > >
    > >Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
    > >understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
    > >
    > >Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted
    > >in ze forst plas.
    > >
    > >If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl
    > >


  • Ironhead

    I love it.

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