reading this made my stomach hurt...especially when the elder reminds the kids that the wedding is a "theocratic" event and restraint should be shown when doing the electric slide. ugh. http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/columnists.nsf/sylvesterbrownjr/story/3BD0031DDED09ACD862571FC00130892?OpenDocument
column in St Louis paper by former witness
by limbogirl 8 Replies latest jw friends
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looking_glass
Or how about the guy who was not going to shake his hand, because he might not be a dub? I like the fact that he wrote that his sister was mad at him for speaking the truth about the "truth" and the crazies in it. Good for him. I also don't hold resentment towards my childhood or the religion, but these people need to face the facts and realize that they are not normal and they cannot continue to keep their secrets hidden.
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rebel8
Story, wedding rekindle memory of childhood as a Witness By Sylvester Brown Jr. ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH 10/03/2006
Sylvester Brown Jr.[More columns]
[Sylvester's Biography]
The article we ran a few weeks ago, "From Jehovah's Witness to Hollywood actress," brought back conflicting memories for me. LikeJuliana Dever, the young actress, former St. Charles resident and ex-Jehovah's Witness, I, too, was raised in the religion.
It resonated when Dever described feeling like the "strangest kid" in class. I remember when classmates gleefully chirped about holidays Witnesses deemed "pagan." The religion also forbade its young followers from participating in "worldly" organized sports activities. I was a fairly decent athlete back in the day, too. Heck, I coulda been a contenda.
Like Dever, my childhood may have been a bit odd to some. But I have no regrets. In fact, the religion contributed to who I am today. We Witnesses studied at home - religiously, in fact - attended three Kingdom Hall meetings per week and spent several hours going door-to-door preaching the Gospel. I learned discipline, individuality, respect for a divine power and the ability to put forth and debate an argument. People who embraced diversity, moral principles and family values fill my childhood memories.
All in all, life as a Witness wasn't so bad.Dever and I have both found lives outside the religion. The actress has written a screenplay exploring the lives of people raised in the faith, but who are no longer practicing.
That dynamic came rushing back to me when I attended my niece's wedding two weekends ago with my wife and kids. My sister, Patricia, and her only daughter, Theresa (the bride), are still "in the faith," as are four of my other 10 siblings. The rest of us are either "disfellowshipped" (a nicer word for excommunicated) or otherwise "disassociated." Those, like me, who are in the latter category just stopped attending meetings. We're still welcomed at Witness functions.
Elder Fred Brown greeted my family as we entered the Kingdom Hall on Park Avenue. As we shook hands, Brown mentioned the grudge he's still holding over the 1965 Mustang convertible I traded in 30 years ago. He could be the owner of a "classic" had I sold the car to him instead, he said.
Brown officiated the wedding. Most non-Witness ceremonies that I've experienced consist of brief words, vows exchanged, rings placed on fingers, kiss-kiss, then a dash down the aisle. As Brown delivered his 40ish-minute speech, my wife's eyes burned through my skull. She took exception when he advised wives to be obedient, to follow their husband's lead - even when they're wrong.
After the services, I recognized a gray-haired fella who used to shoot hoops with my older brother Daniel and me. "Dennis, how are you?" I said with an outstretched hand.
"Are you still a Witness?" my old friend asked, hesitating to grasp my hand.
"Dang, Dennis, I just wanted to say hello," I replied, briskly walking away.
The reception was held at a banquet hall on Hampton Avenue. After an hour or so of Johnny Mathis-style easy listening music, the DJ spiced things up with some modern tunes. My brother-in-law Eric, also an elder, admonished a few of the young people who had gotten up with us for the "Electric Slide" to remember that this "was a theocratic event." He reminded them to be conservative in their movement.
My eldest sister, Sharon, who took charge in the kitchen, pulled me aside. "Junior, don't you ever write about the Witnesses again without checking with me first," she scolded. "You seem to have forgotten some things."
I felt sorry for her. I have written things in the past some Witnesses might find unflattering. From her tone, I gathered she had gotten an earful all evening.
Patricia heard Sharon's plea and offered her usual humor: "You know you can't tell Beelzebub what to do."
Sharon will probably want to kill me, but who listens to their big sisters anyway? I simply must share a highlight of the evening.
After the kids formed a "Soul Train" line and everybody - old, young, black, white and "other" - boogied down the aisle, old "Beelzebub" was struck with the warm fuzzies.
He remembered "some things" about his childhood. And there were no regrets. -
unique1
I enjoyed his article. It shows how bitter some aren't if they don't lose their family.
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Peppermint
Good on him. He has chosen to remember the positives from his JW experience, they do exist you know. Ok, he seems not to lost any family and can go about his business as he pleases this will obviously make him less bitter then those with a different experience. But he shows a positive and understanding attitude to those who remain and it seems they do to him also. Its this type of normalcy amongst ex and current witnesses that will kill the totalitarian aspects of the society that we hate.
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uninformed
In my opinion, if you never take it seriously, there's not a lot to regret.
Brant
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willyloman
if you never take it seriously, there's not a lot to regret.
You said a lot, there.
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JWdaughter
I think he made some effective points on some of the ridiculous aspects of this wedding. The electric slide=theocratic event? Old friend wondering if it was ok to shake his hand? Family telling him not to write about JWs? Yeah, it was all good, except for the sour stuff. I think it is good for him that he doesn't care.
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uninformed
thanks willyloman.
u
