A funny thing happened yesterday

Satans little helper

I called my sister yesterday - she D/A'd herself a couple of years ago but is still in the Uk and lives close to my father; he's a self important elder type who is as insufferable as they generally are.

Anyway, the conversation got to talking about family as you do and she mentioned bumping into my father recently, saying that he was sorry that we were having a tough time in Oz and ha had sarcastically said that if he had our contact details then he would have sent a card when Mrs SLH was in hospital. Now I found this somewhat ironic because the reason that he didn't have our contact details was because he chose to not come to our wedding 3 years ago, and after that I do not want to have anything to do with him.

Anyway, I sent him a text with our contact details and he bloody well called me to try and tell me that despite our differences he still cared - obviously just not enough to come to my wedding.

I don't get it, do these people have selective amnesia, or some sort of selective reasoning thing going on? Either they are shunning or they aren't, there isn't really some happy medium where they shun us but they still get to be kept up to date on what is happening in our lives.

To add an amusing twist, in his conversation with my sister he actually said that by the time we have kids, Armagheddon will come. Sorry, I am still waiting for Armagheddon to come before I leave school, before I get married, before I start a career........

Fortunately I have moved on from the anger I used to feel (largely through talking to people on here who made it clear that I wasn't the only one to feel like this) and now am quite indifferent. Don't get me wrong, it still hurts me that he is so hard hearted that he can shun his kids, but I can accept it and move on now, even feeling as if I could forgive him for all the pain he caused while we were growing up.

Sorry to ramble, just thought I would share.

SLH

Elsewhere

I don't get it, do these people have selective amnesia, or some sort of selective reasoning thing going on? Either they are shunning or they aren't, there isn't really some happy medium where they shun us but they still get to be kept up to date on what is happening in our lives.

My parents are the same.

If they'd take their head out of their ass for a second they might have enough light to see how stupid they are behaving.

Satans little helper

absolutely, and it's like twisting the knife - if you go through the grieving process for the death of your relationship with a parent, and then they come back and act as if it ie either

1) Your fault that the relationship is dead or 2) As if nothing has happened

it just harms the healing process all over again. Fortunately I have kept my distance long enough to heal to a point where I am much stronger now, two years ago this would have set me back a long way and really torn me up.

wonderwoman

I hear ya, seven years ago my mom didn't come to my wedding either, after saying she would along with the rest of my immediate family. Two days before the biggest mistake of my life she dropped the bomb on me that she nor the rest of them would be there. They all still made the huge trek to Minnesota, just didn't show up. She just couldn't understand why I was upset. And never has. She was so worried what it would look like to everyone else (her elders) that she chickened out. I can't understand why I GET it and she is so stuck in her little fantasy world watching her every footstep scared to death she'll mess up.

AgentSmith

When my cousins etc got married, we did not go to the weddings. But would go to the reception! Logic was, we are not going into the church, so it was ok. But they came to my wedding. Sat in the front row of the KH. I even saw my uncle (Catholic) trying to sing along. How I apreciated that! Just one more thing that boggles the mind....

It must really hurt when your own parents care more of what others (JW) will think, if they knew they were at their child's wedding. Sucks, big time!

greendawn

I can see the emotional cruelty that the WTS promotes and that's one way of knowing that they are a cultic organisation, this kind of behaviour is diabolical and can not be justified in any way. They are obviously doing these things out of spite.

sass_my_frass

Hey there SLH. Man it sucks hey... it is such a frustrating and painful process because it is a kind of grieving, but they still get to wander in and shatter us every now and then. My family are still in hard-shun mode, and I am hoping that they stay that way for long enough for my disgust with their cruelty to be overcome by my pity for their sad lives; otherwise I don't think I'll be able to keep my cool when in contact with them. They most likely will though, I really don't expect to hear from them again, or when I do it will be very ugly and I'll want to not ever hear from them again.... Mr Frass said that it's more like a great long series of divorces than a lot of deaths; we can't wrap up and close our feeling on it, when they rejected us and are still around to deal us the occasional right hook at their leisure. It's just going to take time.

Anyway, you can't get much farther from them than you are now hey? I'm sorry it's not going well in Oz. I'm originally from Perth, I hope that it works out for you there.

garybuss

I experienced fractional shunning for years. I even had Witnesses wanted to shun me, and still wanted to borrow my tractor and mower. They finally pissed me off so bad, I put a stop to it all.

sspo

Good for you Gary,

When it comes to saving money or taking advantage of someone, the witnesses don't care what the bible says

A funny thing happened yesterday

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