Why did you leave 'the love you had at first'?

by jambon1 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • jambon1

    At first I was in true love with everything JW. Very young at the time. But I just loved the idea of being in a loving worldwide brotherhood. I loved every minute of it! I made stands on things I now cringe at, although I really was sincere and wanted to do the 'WTS right thing'.

    It always intrigued me in the book of Revelation how Jesus said to one cong "you have left the love you had in the beginning". Yes, even back then, some cooled off from christian activity & maybe bacame assimilated into the system again.

    But was it for the same reasons that we cool off today?

    In my case, it is simple: The more you live in the ways of the WTS, even wholeheartedly, the more you become disillusioned with it all. Lets be honest, life in the congs are miserable, lots of double lives & hypocrisy, bullying elders, dubious doctrine, etc, etc. But you didnt see this at first.

    The life you thought that you were going to have in this loving worldwide brotherhood simply works out to be an illusion. As time passes and the love bombing stops, then you see the real JW`s. And lets be honest, you take a few unexpected kick up the balls along the way.

    Thats why I left the love I had at first.

    What about you?

  • daystar

    Because it was controlling and abusive, dishonest and manipulative.

  • fullofdoubtnow

    I loved being a jw for most of the time I was one, it was like being part of one huge family which, on the surface, it is. It's when you scratch the surface and look what's underneath that you realise all isn't what it seems, but most jws never do that, they are brainwashed not to. Once I'd decided to look into the doctrines more deeply, I soon saw how deceptive appearances can be, jw wise, and once I saw that I was on my way out of the org.

  • Seeker4

    What you describe fits me very well. When I was a kid, I used to read the booklets on the 1958 assemblies and dream of being a missionary, learning to read greek and getting out there in the ministry.

    The reality was a bit different. Some parts I loved for a long time, but eventually I couldn't keep up the illusion.

    It was like thinking you'd married a beautiful woman, only to have it all peel off once you were in the privacy of your bedroom, and you get to see that she's really an ugly old hag.

  • Finally-Free
    Why did you leave 'the love you had at first'?

    For the same reason anyone leaves an abusive, manipulative, one sided relationship. It was toxic.


  • 5go

    I'm in the process but, ditto !

  • Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit
    Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

    People! Did we learn nothing from the Ute Book (Your Ute, Getting the Best out of it)? It's called Infatuation, not Love.

  • Shooting Star
    Shooting Star

    I truly loved EVERYTHING back in the 80's... I found no faults with the org. Granted 1975 passed, but we still thought it would be soon...just a couple of years late. And don't you think the org. was different then? Well, the WORLD was different too. Where I was, there was so much love, caring and unity. Lots of association, parties, caring for each other... most wives didn't work outside the home and the ministry. They were busy cooking, cleaning and caring for their children and of course the FS. Life, to me, then was idyllic. BUT...the big but...we were trained to never look beyond the soc. literature. I questioned nothing. I studied, what I considered to be deeply, only to support the orgs doctrine.

    As the years passed, the world changed, the org, changed, and so did I. Now, the love at first has faded because I fee that we all have been duped, by a self serving money machine. So sad... MOVE ON!


  • xjwms


    Shooting Star

    N I C E L Y D O N E


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