by Check_Your_Premises 16 Replies latest jw friends
I know most leave cults because they have a bad experience. I am sure many are to timid and brainwashed to allow it to free their mind, but many do.
I will look for opportunities to nudge them through the door of independant thought. Not so easy. I am a former "difficult study" on the verge of outright "opposing ubm" status... a suspicious character indeed.
Thanks for the thoughts.
CYP
In all the years that I was there (and I was in a few congregations over the years), I saw many people come and go. Many who came to my cong. were from another congregation. Rumor had it there was a major fall-out or a problem with somebody in the congregation they left behind. Usually the "somebody" (or the "nobody") was an elder or elders. People left because either they or members of their family were not treated right. Unfortunately, when somebody has a problem with an elder and were treated unfairly, the problem never gets solved because the elder usually doesn't have the quality of humility. Of course, the arrogant elder(s) will reason that they are right and it is too bad about you if you don't like it, etc. The problem is that these are all cases of people who don't know the truth about the whole org. and they imagine their problems fall into the category of "human imperfection". So, they end up attending elsewhere and reason to themselves that Jehovah will take care of the problem. The thing is that in many instances the problem they have is not just the result of "human imperfection" but POLICIES of the organization that the person didn't realize were there until they ran smack into them - in which case the only place to go is OUT because these problems will never be fixed! LHG
Before I happened upon this site I thought I was one of the few that have come up against pig headed elders. It truley is amazing how wide spread the problem is. I started out as a very trusting person in this organization. Needless to say my eyes were opened. All it took was a situation where the BOE had absolutely no clue as to how to handle it in a common sense way. Everything was all politics and friendships with the offending party.
Burdens are often times placed on the shoulders of the innocent. It's their obligation to forgive the offense no matter how tramatic it may be. The molested one MUST forgive the molester. Once the burdens become too heavy to bear the innocent victim makes an exit leaving the mindless to tsk tsk tsk about how they turned their back on Jehovah.
I was accused of apostasy, but there was no proof. Apparently someone was mailing out letters, books (Crisis of Conscious, etc) out to individual JWs. They assumed it was me.
The BOE held mock trials with me. They called me up late in the evening, I use to go to the Hall in the undercover of night, as late as 11 pm to meet with the sanhedrin, I mean the BOE. They had nothing to say, they were trying to wear me down. Little did they know I'm a night person. I actually went home after every session and write down everything that happened, Still have those entries. Every so often I read them and laugh!
You see, when you do not fear man, fear the threat of being DF'd, there isn't anything the BOE can do. Nothing works.
Those were good times.
RR
Congregations of Jehovah's Witnesses experience the same power struggles that companies, corporations and other secular entities go through. Individual JW's who simply "wait on Jehovah" can get crushed. Entrenched elders can be ruthless bastards without a hint of scruples or mercy. Sometimes the difference maker is the presence of an advocate, another elder, a circuit overseer, someone at Bethel who knows you well enough to realize that what is being said about you is a lie.
In about three decades as an elder, I survived several of these wars. The final one, involving my offspring, did me in.
In my experience, there is nothing one can do to nudge, influence or hasten someone's departure from JW's. They must reach that point individually.
One final blow for the sincere JW who is being smited by vindictive elders is the letter they send to the congregation the wounded one moves to. The wounded ones may find themselves never fully accepted because their "resume" contains inaccuracies impossible to live down.
tms
The last four or five posts confirm what I learned some years back that made it easy for me to walk: The problems are not unique to a given congregation or a few "bad elders." The problems are systemic.
The problems are not unique to a given congregation or a few "bad elders." The problems are systemic.
I think that is probably one of the biggest thresholds a jw can cross; when they realize that all these examples of bad behaviour are not anomolies but rather representative of fundamental flaws in the system of thought. The most critical flaw I think is to presume to much authority to some people to interfere and control the lives of other ADULTS.
It can be difficult for a parent living in the home with a child who they have known their whole lives to make proper decisions and judgements. How can an adult make such decisions for another adult in situations they really could only practically know very little about.
So back to this poor misguided couple. Any ideas, devious or otherwise (ala RR) that might help to worsen their plight (and therefore actually help them to gain some control over their lives).
I was just going to try to catch one of them alone and ask a few open ended questions. If they jump through, then I will know they are ready.
CYP
