dating out side the religion

by woody02302 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • woody02302
    woody02302

    I just got divorced a couple of months ago. Our relationship soured after i stoped going to meetings, and unfourtunatly I am now back among the single after 5 years.

    i recently started talking to a "worldly girl" and it is so diffrent and hard trying to explane all the bull shite that i was brought up with. Does this get easier? I almost wish that there was a web site for ex wittnesses. Around her friends I am know as the "wittness"......I hate this. but its better then actualy being one.

    I hate that a religion has so much influence in my life.... but I can only hope that bigger things are out there for me. Thanks for letting me vent. 32 ,divorced, and lovin it... thats the new attitude... oh.. and sexy of course

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa

    I find dating "worldly" people difficult.........I mean its fun to go out and have some fun........but the deeper things in life......or what is at the core of me RIGHT NOW......there is no connection.

    So, I try to remember that the JW experiance, although is huge in my life, is very insignificant to others and I am hoping in time ...it will not be so huge in mine.

    Unless you have been there, done that........its very hard to understand.

    purps

  • Brigid
    Brigid

    Good luck and congratulations on your newly found freedom....may you use it to learn, grow and evolve.

    i recently started talking to a "worldly girl" and it is so diffrent and hard trying to explane all the bull shite that i was brought up with. Does this get easier?

    I'm afraid I have to say it never gets easier. I had a "scorched earth" type of policy when I left the organization and witheld my religious upbringing to all but a handful of my most intimate friends...even then, it was so hard to explain, that I would not speak of it much. I'm still this way a little bit....like my whole life before leaving the org did not exist in huge chunks.

    Then there was this site--a place where I could "let my hair down", be myself, surrounded by people who, though I may not agree on everything with, shared a common bond. I don't have to explain here how embarassing it is to go door to door to peddle useless magazines. I don't have to explain why I forget birthdays (it's not personal, I swear!!). I can share those deepest parts of my soul that are still so colored by JW doctrine here and be understood. But never did I think I'd find my true kindred in a "romantic" way among JW ilk (even knowing, I could never be truly intimate with someone who never knew what being raised as a JW is like) In this way, I felt very alone in ways.

    And then there was Daystar, an ex-jw who I met here. And I have to say among other things, it is such a relief not to have to hide or explain things that only an ex-jw would understand. Sweet relief.

    Good luck! Glad you're here.

    ~Brigid

  • bikerchic
    bikerchic
    I almost wish that there was a web site for ex wittnesses.

    Welcome to JWD said the spider to the fly.........

    Keep reading you'll catch on!

  • jgnat
    jgnat
    it is so diffrent and hard trying to explane all the bull shite that i was brought up with

    Is she asking or are you volunteering? I imagine it is tough for anyone who has survived a terrific crisis, to explain what they've been through to the uninitiated. Sometimes survivors volunteer up too much, because they are still working through their problems. The listener has every right to say Too Much Information! On the other hand, a girl wants to know her guy. What was his childhood like, what are his likes and dislikes, what makes him tick? Couples who share back and forth become ever more intimate, strengthening the bond between them.

    IF SHE IS THE ONE who wants to understand, I suggest she read Steve Hassan's Combatting Cult Mind Control. He writes for the regular audience, without any of the insider jargon.

  • jaguarbass
    jaguarbass

    I almost wish that there was a web site for ex wittnesses

    What is this, chopped liver?

    just kidding

  • mama1119
    mama1119

    It takes a good long while to get over it, I have found. This website really helps, its good for the soul. Dating is hard in general, I found. they say, if its the right one, it isnt hard, but I disagree. It is important to feel comfortable to talk to your girlfriend about your past, since it is part of who you are. My husband was not in the JW at all, but he listens to all my stories and complaints and gripes and I think he understands me alot more than when we first started dating.

    I hope it all works out!

    Mama

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