How was it being raised by parents who were not JW but enforced it on you?

by Wasanelder Once 7 Replies latest jw friends

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  Wasanelder Once

  My folks studied in the sixties but never were baptized. They enforced the no Xmas and holidays in general but stopped attending the meetings after about three years. My mom was baptized in 1990, Dad still isn't. We were not allowed to watch army movies and never had toy guns. They even upheld the NO BlOOD bullshit, even when my mom had life threatening surgrery.

  I think it was harder to be half assed about it all than fully immersed. There was all the guilt without the benefit of being in the club. We had no association "in" or "out" of the congregation. This was truly worse!

  I played HS football as a freshmen and was all leauge. Then I didn't go out as a sophmore because I was studying and didn't want to "compete". The coaches were all PE teachers and gave me F's in PE. So the next year I went out for football to get them off my back.

  How about you? Any others raised in this wierdass limbo?

  W.Once
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  jayhawk1

  I will be very brief, because this is still painful to talk about.

  Yes, I was. My dad was dominant. He made my mom get baptized and pioneer. He made me go with her to all meetings. He later demanded I get baptized. He forbid me from going to High School dances or dating. I secretly dated a girl anyway. When I began expressing doubt in my early 20's he said I had better cut it out or he would not speak to me.

  During all of this, he smoked or chewed tobacco and barely ever attended a meeting himself. He always felt unworthy of becoming a JW for some odd reason. Dad died 6 years and 1 week ago.

  Funny thing is I miss my dad, but I'm glad he is gone.
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  done4good

  I was taught "the truth" from about 1978, (at age 5) when my mother started studying with the jws. My father was actually the one who started the discussions with the witnesses, but never came in. Mom didn't get baptized until 1986, and was never "strong". She was df by 1995. However, all the rules applied, from age 5 on up. No holidays, birthdays, dances, MTV, etc. When I was old enough, at age 15 I decided to get baptized on my own. This was largely out of guilt. Having "weak" parents is really a double whammi in the org, because you are automatically looked down at in the org because of your parents supposed "weaknesses". Making friends in the org was not easy as a teenager because of this. Definately sucked.

  j
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  kid-A

  This has to be the worst case scenario. I always resented being raised in the borg, but at least I knew where my parents stood, and that they at least believed it themselves. I cant imagine the psychological turmoil and complete lack of respect I would have had for my parents had I been in this sort of situation. That they would actually consider letting their own child die for a blood policy they themselves barely even believed is beyond the pale.

  Seems like they used the "weapons" of the cult, without actually belonging to the borg, as a means of control and manipulation.
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  jayhawk1

  Having "weak" parents is really a double whammi in the org, because you are automatically looked down at in the org because of your parents supposed "weaknesses". Making friends in the org was not easy as a teenager because of this. Definately sucked.

  So true... I couldn't have friends outside of the congregation because they was "worldly" and the ones inside the congregation didn't want to be around me because I was viewed as weak. What was worse for me, I was an only child. I was constantly lonely.
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  Wasanelder Once

  Jayhawk,

  I always saw it as Not good enough to be in the truth and not bad enough to be out of it! Limbo. How low can you go?

  W.Once
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  jayhawk1

  That's pretty much how I view it now. When I left, I was a very bitter person. Times have changed. My mom is out, I am out and we are both much happier for it.
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  Junction-Guy

  My situation was similiar but still different. I was raised a JW, but also had a disfellowshipped Mom. I never fully loved the JW religion, so I never had many JW friends. So basically I still had all the JW rules, I just didnt have many close friends as a JW. When I lived with my Mom, I could live a normal life, except that her husband was abusive, so I had to go live with my Elder Dad several times.------Yes your situation does sound horrible, a fence sitter with none of the benefits, and all of the punishments of being a JW.