The "Fade" - Evaluating A New Phenomenon

by slimboyfat 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • becca1
    becca1

    Hi: New "fader" here. In the "truth" all my life (over 40 years). A little paranoid about posting . What if someone tracks this...? Did not report time last month nor this one. First time since I was 4 years old.Still go to meetings because I am responsible for my elderly parents. They are in their 80's, live with me, are active, Dad an elder though disabled. When they "go" I'm not going back. Until then....???? Do not want to be disfelowshipped. Don't plan on any "wrongdoing", but with the NGO issue, Bulgaria, 607, and the many smaller doubts I have had for years I cannot in good conscience encourage others to join us, so I will not be "witnessing" any more.

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    Becca1

    I don't think they will trace you, I wouldn't worry about it.

    If you ever get down with things, come here and check some posts, always works for me.

    Pope

  • becca1
    becca1

    Thanks!

  • No Apologies
    No Apologies

    Welcome to the board becca!!!

    You sound just like me(and a lot of other posters) when I first came across this website. Very afraid, very cautious, I lurked for months before I had the nerve to register and then (gasp!) post.

    I wouldn't worry too much about being found out, unless you post something obviously incriminating about yourself.

    Good luck on the fade.

    No Apologies

  • poppers
    poppers

    Welcome becca1. So, how did you come across JWD?

  • BlackPearl
    BlackPearl

    Becca..welcome to Mecca. LOL That was too obvious of a rhyme to pass up, sorry, just having a little fun. Hope everyone gets a laugh out of it.

  • Mrs.Congeniality
    Mrs.Congeniality

    hey black pearl, you always make me laugh. the things you come up with! u r nuts

  • erandir
    erandir

    Wow. I so relate to becca1. I have been inactive for a year now. I've been doing some research online, too. Basically I quit going to meetings and in the preaching work because of a couple things. Learning about things like the NGO deal and other historical facts of the Society was one thing. Another was a couple elders leading very poor examples (I won't elaborate right now). But the effect of all this was that I felt that I could no longer go out in the ministry and try to bring people into my congregation. I work nights, so I have a good enough excuse to miss the meetings because they conflict with my work schedule. Plus, 2 other elders basically know my grievances against the above-mentioned elders and are giving me some "space" to think about things. I don't know how long this will last, but so far I've been left alone. Anyway...this concept of "fading" is so cool. I was seriously considering disassociating, but I can seriously just keep doing what I'm doing (not attend, be inactive) and I don't have to disassociate? Won't I eventually be "disassociated" by the elders if I continue to not go to meetings or service? I really have no clue here. I've only been in the truth for about 6 years now. My wife knows how I feel, but she wants to keep on being a witness yet will keep my secret. I don't understand how her conscience allows this, but oh well...I won't complain. Anyway, I'd love to hear more about this "fading" concept. Meanwhile, I'll do more research. This forum is an eye-opener. Peace

  • penny2
    penny2

    Hi erandir and welcome to JWD!

    No, you don't have to disassociate. Fading is more difficult if someone in the household is still going to meetings (because it's harder to move on, make new friends, start celebrating, etc). However, if you are prepared to just live a quiet life, don't voice your opinions and don't break any of the JW rules, you should be able to avoid disfellowshipping. Fading makes life easier for continued association with loved ones.

    penny2

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