Not the smurfs!!!!!

by tattoogrl333 15 Replies latest jw friends

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  NameWithheld2

  I wouldn't say that that wsa neccesarily a fair criteria.
  I've never turned down someones friendship, just because they wouldn't study with me, and frankly made some darned good friends that way.

  You were/are a rare breed of JW then. My point was not for Tatoogirl to use that as a 'test' but for the simple fact that she seems to be knowing that the JW religion is not all it's cracked up to be (as a religion) and is turned off by some of the things about it (as well she should be). But she is torn because she is now so close to this 'study lady as she calls her.

  My point was if they are such close freinds why should/would Tatoogirls choice to NOT become a JW need affect that? Why must Tatoogirl become a JW (and conform to all the rules by doing so) to maintain this freindship. If the friendship is a conditional one based on Tatoogirl's always advancing in her 'study' is it really then a 'true' freindship? Things to ponder ...
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  tattoogrl333

  you are all right. A friendship shouldn't cause me to be afraid to do something wrong. i don't know if she would continue to be my friend but I guess if she didn't then she wouldn't have been a true friend in the first place. I guess I just see her and her family and am jelous and for the first time I feel apart of that, even if it is soley on the surface. Would i still study if it wasn't for her? I don't know I'm still in the gaining knowledge stage and since i have no real prior bible knowledge I really don't have anything to compare their teachings to. until of course I found this board and some other sites so I am gaining information that seems to conflict. And sometimes the lady I study with confuses me I don't get the whole great tribulation where those who aren't in the truth die but then if they die before the great tribulation everyone is resurected. Seems to me it would be better to die now then later. And the 144,000 people how do they decide who they are seems like anyone could just say they were annointed. Those are just some of the things but I am still learning.
  The elders are scary though. They seem very very VERY unapproachable. Seems like if they said jump everyone would say how high. i guess i only really like the studying but I've checked into another study class that is not JW affiliated. So that should be good. Thanks again for all the posts.
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  NameWithheld2

  I quite understand the feelings you're having. It is a natural desire to be a part of something and the JWs make things look very appealing on the surface. But you have already scratched below the surface and seen the ugly underside. It's sad there has to be an ugly underside. I would hope that this lady would remain your friend even if you decide not to become a JW

  The elders are scary though. They seem very very VERY unapproachable. Seems like if they said jump everyone would say how high.

  Boy have you nailed it. You'd better not only ask how high but how many times too.

  You say this is the first exposure you've had to bible study - well you owe it to yourself to investigate other religions too. Don't take ANY religion's surface explinations either. Do your own digging.

  I look at religions like clubs - they might look like a nice group of people to get in with, but you'd better check out what the bylaws are. Otherwise you might get a surprise. The one nice thing about most religions though is that in most religions you can leave and they won't shun you.
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  LittleToe

  Hi NW2,

  >> You were/are a rare breed of JW then.<<
  Thank you - it seems rare to get compliments around here <g>.
  And to set the record straight, I'm still a dub elder (for the moment). And another thing - I hate "scary" elders, as they are obviously not a "hiding place from the wind", which they should be.
  (May I run away from that open can of worms? <bg>)

  As for the rest of your points, I fully concur.
  True friendship, like love, can't really be conditional if it's gonna stand the test of time.

  Keep at it Tatoo.
  The only advice I would dare to offer on the religious front is "if it's supposed to be Christian, and you want it, call on Christ for assistance, and ask for holy spirit for guidance".

  Anybody want to argue the validity of that advice whilst she considers whether or not to take it? <g>

  LT
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  slipnslidemaster

  Yea, why can't you stay friends/family with this lady and cease the 'study' part? Why can't you tell her that you want to maintain your freindship but have no desire to join her religion? Would she cease association with you? If she does, that in itself is all the proof you need of her true intentions. If she doesn't, then you have gained a true friend (and will shock many of us on this board!)

  I second this motion Tatgirl. I think you will find that the minute that you "discontinue" the study that the "friendship" will start to discontinue also.

  Slipnslidemaster: "I don't know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
  - Albert Einstein
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  Billygoat

  Tattoogirl,

  I guess I just see her and her family and am jelous and for the first time I feel apart of that, even if it is soley on the surface.

  I can totally relate to that. My family was never close to begin with, so the friendships of the KH were very appealing to me. The majority of my "brothers and sisters" in the Hall were kind, loving, and a lot of fun. Until I got disfellowshipped. Everybody ignored me. Wouldn't talk to me. Wouldn't even come into the restaurant I worked in for fear I may be their waitress. It hurt so badly. Why? Because I realized that they were fair-weather friends. I loved them wholeheartedly and got nothing in return. Basically, when the going got tough for me - they all LEFT. And not just that, but they were flat out MEAN. I really screws with your head.

  Just be careful dear. Things in your life are good right now. Of course they're nice to you. Just wait till you need some REAL help or tell them you don't fully believe their teachings. They will treat you totally different. You're a smart girl - only you can decide what's best for you!

  (((((hugs)))))
  Andi