So Confused (page 3)

LittleToe

AuldSoul:

I gave it a 1:100,00 chance, rather than one in a million. I think I was being fair. Ready Rusty's comments, for a real-life example of what I'm talking about. If he extracts her then his problems are only just beginning, IMHO.

AuldSoul

LT,

I think your odds of them having a successful relationship are fair. I just picked up on the possibility that RPT knows the relationship will probably never work out and wants to help his friend anyway.

Can hardly WAIT 'til Sunday! Just so you know who you are looking for, I'd better post a picture. Here you go:

Respectfully,
AuldSoul

jgnat

Auld Soul, you hopeless romantic. She's using him! He's her "fix" of real life. Bundle up all that love and hope and indulge your wife with it. As you well know, she deserves it!

By the way, RPT, her asking you to "prove it's not the truth" is an old Jehovah's Witness excuse. Logically, you can't prove a negative. Ask her if you can show one evidence that there is some truth outside the Witnesses, if that would be enough? Two, three? She already has TONS of evidence that LIFE is not to be found inside the society. Evidence? Her miserable existence.

She says she wants to discuss the religion with you, but if you ask questions, she says it's too complicated. This is another excuse. She doesn't want to look to deeply, in case she will find out that all her efforts to remain approved by the society were for nothing.

I still think you need to attend a few Al-Anon meetings so you learn how to be of genuine help to her, instead of helping her to live the sham-life she's living now.

sinis

Has anyone thought that perhaps the husband is using this situation to his own benefit? Just sucking it up and letting it ride so that he can latter initiate divorce proceedings against her, which would be ok in the eyes of the elders? Anyway, you slice this situation can only lead to disaster.

I hate to say it but you are being played. Its like seeing a lost, big eyed puppy dog on the street. Thats your current relationship. The only thing you can't see is that the puppy dog is actually cujo - about as mentally unstable. Remember salvation comes from within, if she REALLY wants salvation from the "truth" and her husband, she has to make the decision. I only see you as a scape goat when the shit starts to fly. In the end, the way of the JW, you will see that she will stick with her husband, she will stick to the JW religion, and they will all bury there heads in the sand "leaving it in gods hands", and she will leave you.

As others have said, I wouldn't touch this situation until she rolls the dice herself and actually knows what she wants and where she wants to go in life - some stability.

wannaexit

She is a married woman and you should back off for now.

Fe2O3Girl

If my ex had backed off because I was a married woman in a weird cult, I doubt I would be alive, or at least at liberty now.

I don't have much respect for him now, but I will always be glad he stuck around long enough to get me free.

If she is so unhappy, I doubt her husband is having a whale of a time. Do we really know that saving their marriage is for the best?

JamesThomas

She keeps asking me to convince her that its not the truth but because I dont know enough about it

Welcome, RPT.

If she is of a mind that does not see any problem with accrediting a tiny tribal deity for the infinite expression of life and universe, and you are of that same mind, then there is little to work with.

Perhaps if you stepped back and deeply and silently observed and contemplated, you would find some inner guidance which could help you both. We all possess much innate wisdom.

j

jgnat

Naaah, this marriage is a sham anyways. This girl's entire life is a sham. But RPT is asking, so I'm giving my best shot at helping him. Sometimes you can't rescue people from themselves if they don't think they are drowning. I am seriously concerned that poor RPT is going to be pulled down in to the same mess.

So Confused

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