by purplesofa 8 Replies latest jw friends
For a year now I have been dealing with some overwhelming problems..........and while doing that neglected other things and now they have come to a head as a problem.
I was driving and thinking............If I only had gone to the meetings this past year and a half.............and maybe if I start going again......things will get better.......
It soon went away...........but did that nag at you in the back of your mind.......and if it did........how long did it last?
purps
From my time of exit, to the time it left, about 6 months. Never looked back from there. Part of deprogramming and nothing we should be surprised about. We were programed to think that is the way you fix things. So give it time, it will get better. I have been out since 1997.
I felt good and peaceful when I first pulled away...........I had more time............I did not feel the going on and on of the meetings....
I get so tired of thinking about it all ........trying to figure out what is real and what is not.........its not just learning about what I learned from the Witnesses.........I was raised Catholic.
I just have such a bitter taste in my mouth about religion .......any of them.
I wish there was a magical cleaning agent that you could pour in your brain.......that gets out all the toxins..........cleans it all out.........the funky thinking and messages we have in there.
this heat is getting to all of us !!!
I get so tired of thinking about it all ........trying to figure out what is real and what is not.........its not just learning about what I learned from the Witnesses.........I was raised Catholic.I just have such a bitter taste in my mouth about religion .......any of them.
A lot of us understand how you feel. Many of us have developed a strong disliking for most of religion. I think that Free2beme made a good point. Our many years of conditioning does have a long after-effect on us. This stuff doesn't go way overnight. I too have those feelings you talked about from time to time. I think that it just takes time and requires some loving support from others.
***If I only had gone to the meetings this past year and a half ..... did that nag at you in the back of your mind.......and if it did........how long did it last?***
Once I decided to leave, the only thought that lingered was, why did I take so long???
I felt that way when I first stopped going, but when I joined this site and a few others and started doing some research it started to go away. I know now that it was such a waist of time (mentally and physically) I have been out for a 1 1/2 yrs and I can sit here in my bedroom at night on the computer and not let it bother me that my mother-in-law is in the next room listening to the meetings over the speaker phone. What I do find is that when I do hear the brothers and sisters commenting it just makes my stomach churn because they sound so fake and overly sickingly sweet!
Purps, allow me to be your Apostate Sponser.
When you get that "stinkin'" thinkin", PM ME!
I'll give you better ways to be constructive in going to the KH. Hope you still have your bookbag! LOLOLOL
sKally
Thanks everyone........I appreciate all of you..........
thanks skally...........I will do that .
It takes time ............and I guess 20 years infuence does not go away overnite for sure....and there are going to be "flashbacks" and I do feel like I wish so much time had not gone by.........I am older, I want the time I have left peaceful.......filled with contentment, good food, and airconditioning!!!!!
How long have you been out of meetings? I really think with me it took 2 1/2 to 3 years to really really clear the mind and start back upward. After the first 1 1/2 the fog started to lift.
I was really pulled by the fellowship. Lots of friends and a strong feeling I wouldn't or couldn't make ones like it outside the cong. That tug was real and left me feeling empty.
For what it's worth, I have some good friends now who won't shun me.
