How long do they tolerate you being "spiritually weak" in the beginning...

by Check_Your_Premises 17 Replies latest jw friends

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  blondie

  She averages one morning a week in service, about 60% attendance at book study, and about 75% at TMS and sunday meetings.

  How would this level of activity be considered in most halls? Weak? Average? Bad association?

  CYP

  Actually, not too bad considering children are involved and she has an "unbelieving" husband. Even if you make the expected goals, the WTS and the elders are always raising the bar. BTW, women are viewed differently in the congregation, less valuable, so men tend to be nagged more than women. Blondie
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  vitty

  As a sister in a divided home, my experience is that they will cut her some slack. Although she will never become one of the inner circle. Her socializing will be limited not because she is weak, but because she isnt in a "couple".................single ppl in the org dont have a good time socializing, they unfortunatley get ignored...............which is good news for you Cos in time hopefully she will rather your company than theirs.

  The thing is YOU are still her head and if YOU make this known to the elders, they will leave her alone. Although she will become a target for some sisters to "encourage"
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  MinisterAmos

  You would be considered a threat to everyone's spirituality in my congo.

  I will admit that we have an extra serving of fruits and nuts. Lots of very visible mental issues, lots of unhappiness. There are maybe two people in the the congo that I would even consider speaking to if they weren't Dubz.

  YOU not your wife have been "marked" by the Pioneer. She will do everything she can do to turn your wife against you without violating Dub rules. YOU are already dead to them so any "rights" you think you have are not recognized by the Dubz.

  You are spot on that your wife is a pawn to them and they will happily ruin your marriage to prove a point.

  Just sayin' that you might want to tell them to lay off
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  Check_Your_Premises

  Although she will become a target for some sisters to "encourage"

  Oh yeah... they are all over her... and my kids.

  To be expected.

  They have nothing better to do, and if more people aren't buying their little dream world it is hard evidence to them that it might not be true. Can't have that. Must bring more into the fold to keep the fantasy alive. That is why I was wondering how she would be viewed with those kind of performance stats. She is always being encouraged.

  I just have to keep playing the game and have faith in my overall strategies.

  1. Protect the kids first.

  2. Avoid persecuting or challenging her faith unless it violates 1. Build trust and rapport whenever possible.

  3. Create an overall environment that provides a sound alternative and social structure to the cult.

  4. Create a general awareness and aversion in the home to emotional abuse.

  5. Make the free exchange of ideas and information possible in the home.

  6. Avoid outright hostility with the greater jw community, and build trust and rapport whenever possible.

  The crazy pioneer lady recognizes and actively works, manipulates, and guilt trips to undermine the above.

  CYP
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  vitty

  cyp

  I wish my husband had had a strategy like that, who knows I may have come out sooner................Its difficult to know, shes going to always be trying to impress you that this is the truth, ever hopeful. On the the other hand my sister said to me years ago that she had accepted her husband was a goat.......

  At least you know the truth and understand whats happening to her, so that you can counter act, even if its just a little.

  I hope it doesnt take her 20 years to see the truth, like it did me (sigh)...................stick with it your doing great
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  itsallgoodnow

  When I rarely show up at meetings I have all kinds of ladies approach me in the restroom where I can be found taking a break from BS, primping in the mirror and hoping the speakers won't be on in there. They range from outright confrontational about it, "do you know what you are doing" to annoyingly preachy, to "You are so-and-so's daughter/sister/niece? why haven't I ever met you?" I just don't care and they know it. Some of them shun me but the rest don't know what to do. They want a reaction and can't get one, so they lose interest.
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  Check_Your_Premises

  I hope it doesnt take her 20 years to see the truth, like it did me (sigh)...................

  Yeah me too! Cuz I won't be around in 20 years.

  It is so sad when people destroy the relationships with the people who REALLY matter and care to follow delusions or seeking the approval of those who don't. You just can't ever get those things back. Once they are gone they are gone forever. And you are left with nothing but unbearable regret.
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  GentlyFeral

  CYP,

  She averages one morning a week in service, about 60% attendance at book study, and about 75% at TMS and sunday meetings.

  How would this level of activity be considered in most halls? Weak? Average? Bad association?

  Everyplace I've been, the meeting attendance would be only slightly below average. An average of once a week in service makes her a pretty solid run-of-the-mill publisher.

  No, I wouldn't call her "weak" yet.

  GentlyFeral