Those who have family still in, do you really care what they think of you? Or, do you secretly hide the apostate or ex-jw lifestyle from them? What for? I know many of us will say "Well I love my family, I want them in my life and that's why I am in the fade mode." Why should we want someone to be in lives if we have to live a lie? Also, we know if they ever really knew our thinking process they would cut us off in a heartbeat. So why we do continue? They lead the life they want to presue, why shouldn't we? Think of it, those who live with/or near current JW's know about their actions regarding the religion. These such ones can talk about the "Meetings" and "Service time" etc. Yet, thee EX JW in the household can't talk about "JWD" or "Aposta fests" etc... Why can't we tell them that we don't want to hear about the religious activities or talk about what they learned, as they do with us?
Our history is something that shapes our lives and makes us who we are, to that degree can we ever let go of who we are? Putting it bluntly. no I dont think we can.
But can we come to terms with our history? absolutely! Thats why we are here I suppose, both to come to terms with what has been such a controlling influence in our lives for such a long time and to hopefully help others do the same. Family is a different issue and we all make our individual decisions as to how to approach them in terms of our views and beliefs (or even lack of).
I agree with you Brooke that ideally, we should resist their attempts to stunt our own personal and spiritual growth and be able to be open about our position and beliefs but the reality is often too costly in terms of being shunned by those who should love us more and without conditions.