Sheperding call imminent, some advice needed

by Glorfindel 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • Glorfindel
    Glorfindel

    Greetings all.
    Let me first introduce myself. I am a current active JW. I know full well that being a member on these forums, reading and posting constitute "bad association" by WT definitions, which can land me in quite a bit of trouble. I have spent about a month lurking here and reading threads intensively and getting to know about some of the major posters here, following a decision to do some independant research because of some doubts that I couldn't address on my own. I find these forums to be a breath of fresh air with an amazing amount of information.


    A little more personally, I am a young guy living in Asia. I'm also technically a minor. That's as much as I'm willing to say. This might make some of you suspicious, but I have good reasons: my government officially bans the WT entirely, making posession of any WT literature an offense punishable by law. Also, I do not plan on getting thrown out of the WT just yet, because there are some in my family who are witnesses, and I have no intention of forcing them to shun me. I know that despite my secrecy, there are ways to find out just where I am generally.


    Now to the point of my post
    As is obvious from the topic, I have a sheperding call coming in a few days time. It will be handled by 2 elders whom I know personally, regarding my possible baptism soon. While this might be a major discussion point, it isn't why I am asking for advice.


    I guess that the elders will be going through the Organized book with me, along with the questions on doctrine. What I want to do is to discuss some of the controversial issues I picked up here with them and hope to get straight answers (middle fingers do not count).


    Here's a quick list of my potential discussion points:


    -What it means to be spiritually sick

    -Rape, is it a DF offence? Have people been wrongly DF'd?

    -The topic of disfellowshipping in general, how truly loving, etc

    -Disassociation by actions, is it possible? How?

    -Blood, animal blood, just what is the real stance on eating animal blood?

    -Organ transplants

    -How can changes in policies which have directly affected the lives and mortality of faithful JWs (change in stance on blood, etc) be justified by the FDS?

    -Are the baptism qn's legally binding statements? If so, how can minors make such a statement when they are required by law to be above a certain age?

    -Sex education

    I'm not looking for the answers to these questions here. I know the answers to some, if not most of these questions. The point here is to know how they deal with such questions and how they answer them, if at all.


    Will the elders be receptive of my desire to discuss?


    What are some ways where I can phrase my questions such that they cannot possibly construe it as fault finding or criticising the FDS, which is enough to get me reproved, or whatever it's called?


    Are there any other issues you would like me to add in my "questionings"?

    I already have a good idea of how to phrase my points to be as subtle as possible, and I can definitely act. I would have spent more time myself thinking and planning, but the elders insisted that my SC be this week, so I've decided to cut short my lurking and step into the light. Also, I hope I don't come across as too stiff, formal, or cold. I'm really a humorous and lighthearted person in real life, but right now I need to be serious and to the point.



  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    hi welcome!

    I'm not looking for the answers to these questions here. I know the answers to some, if not most of these questions. The point here is to know how they deal with such questions and how they answer them, if at all.

    if these elders have known you all your life and are comfortable around you they may try to answer your questions .. i dont know.. most will say " lets go over the organization book questions and after you've gone thru them all we'll see if you still have questions" that puts the control of the questioning back in their hands. regardless, it is great that you have the courage and forethought to prepare for the sheparding call and i hope you are treated in a fair and respectful way.

  • Glorfindel
    Glorfindel

    Thanks for the reply. What you said about them turning the questioning back to them, that's something I didn't think of. Gotta think about that. And as for being treated fairly and respectfully, I hope so too. I've read many bad experiences of people here being visited by elders, and some have been really harshly treated. Of course, to say all elders are bad is definitely wrong.

  • serendipity
    serendipity


    Hi glorfindel and welcome!

    You need to be very careful because the elders may ask you what triggered the questions. For example, the ban on organ transplants is old and no longer applies. They might ask how you knew about that. Asking too many questions could be viewed as challenging the FDS. Asking the wrong questions (i.e. on the WT involvement with the UN) will get you labelled as an apostate.

    I would pick the two or three most important questions that involve beliefs unique to JWs and be very prepared with many scriptures. I think the question on blood is very good because there are scriptures which show how unbled animals were handled in ancient Israelite times that seem to contradict the supposed sanctity of blodd theory.

    I also have to give you a bit of unsolicited advice, because I'm the mother of a 17 year old. If you have doubts, I hope you aren't going through with baptism. If you get baptized and later decide the JW life isn't for you, you could very well lose your family. If you don't get baptized, your family might treat you coolly, but by WT rules they can still talk to you. Please think long and hard about this. And if you still believe in God, please pray about it and ask for guidance.

  • juni
    juni

    Welcome glorifindel.

    Serendipity made a very good point:

    I also have to give you a bit of unsolicited advice, because I'm the mother of a 17 year old. If you have doubts, I hope you aren't going through with baptism. If you get baptized and later decide the JW life isn't for you, you could very well lose your family. If you don't get baptized, your family might treat you coolly, but by WT rules they can still talk to you. Please think long and hard about this. And if you still believe in God, please pray about it and ask for guidance.

    I hope you think this over very seriously. Your decision WILL affect your relationship w/your family forever.

    Most sincerely,

    Juni

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    If you are not baptised you should stay that way and there is nothing they can do to you they can't disfellowship or shun you.

    At the end of the day this is a cult and whatever you say to them they will not listen even when they are obviously in error.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    First of all, glorfindel, I think you are a very bright young man who has a great future in front of him. Your grasp of English is impeccable, and your approach to your problem measured and logical. I predict you will go far.

    Elders are just people with a title. Some are fools, others are genuinely trying to do right. My guess in a country where JW's are banned, that the Witnesses tend to be more spiritual and more dedicated than what we see here in North America.

    I think your goal should be to delay baptism because you have too many doubts. Respectfully ask the elders to help you through each doubt, one at a time. Be very firm that you must not be baptized if a single doubt remains. This can not possibly be handled with a single visit. Make them go back to their Reasoning book and the NWT and STUDY these things out. Then, don't let them slide off with excuses. If they start their argument with, "Isn't it reasonable.." ask, "But, is that what the bible says? Do we follow our own reason or the bible?"

  • yesidid
    yesidid

    Welcome Glorfindel,

    I am very concerned thatyou are thinking of bringing up so many subjects. It will be very obvious to any experienced elder that

    you have been researching online. You are simply not old enough to have experienced these changes in doctrine.

    If the work isbanned in your country I would think you would probably not have access to the older publications where the topics to which

    you refer, would be discussed.

    If you don't want them to be suspicious perhaps you would be better off discussing one thing at a time. That topic would perhaps be one you would have come across in your

    education, recent private study or congregation experiences.

    Just be very careful not to ring apostate bells.

    Take care my friend,

    yesidid

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    I hope you aren't going through with baptism. If you get baptized and later decide the JW life isn't for you, you could very well lose your family

    I hope you think very seriously above the above advice Thinking like you are already your a Disfellowshipping canditate

  • codeblue
    codeblue


    Welcome

    You are a highly intelligent person.

    When in doubt, don't. This I say in regards to every serious decision you make in life.

    You have enough doubts that your mind is telling you don't get baptised. Simply tell your family that you are not ready for baptism. Jesus was 29 before he was baptized. Why would we want to get baptized in our teen years then???

    Be very careful if you proceed to talk to the elders.....they will keep calling on you till you tell them to stop. You are in control...it is your life.

    Codeblue

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