by Ms. Whip 41 Replies latest jw friends
The more I become aware of politics and religion the more I'm convinced people are stupid. Its like being mad at the cat for eating baloney rind and puking on the couch. Do you have to forgive the cat or do you just clean up the mess and go, Oh well.
And with the wave of his hand our hero, raised his voice and cried out to the huddled masses, ..."Let the cat puke on the Damn Balogna! For only by allowing the cat freedom of choice as pertains to meals, have we obtained a true democracy!"
Peaceful Pete:
Excuse my crassness but its all a bunch of bunk this forgive or not to fogive stuff. I understand the attraction to feel good effusive gushing self therapy, I just feel the real healing comes when you come to terms with just how stupid we humans are. We were lucky our parents weren't approached by a worse cult. The more I become aware of politics and religion the more I'm convinced people are stupid. Its like being mad at the cat for eating baloney rind and puking on the couch. Do you have to forgive the cat or do you just clean up the mess and go, Oh well.
Right on Pete!
Sparkplug:
And with the wave of his hand our hero, raised his voice and cried out to the huddled masses, ..."Let the cat puke on the Damn Balogna! For only by allowing the cat freedom of choice as pertains to meals, have we obtained a true democracy!"
OMG! I almost puked from laughing so hard. Sparky, that was hilarious! Oh, oh, my belly hurts!
IMHO, forgiveness and losing one's bitterness have very little to do with each other. Also, it depends entirely on "what" or "who" we are forgiving. I would never forgive the watchtower because they have neither earned it, nor asked for it.
I believe a prerequisite for forgiving is that the one being forgiven is an active participant in the process. In other words, I will forgive with the condition that the perpetrator expressed genuine regret and has asked for my forgiveness. Having said that, there are many people whom I believe have wronged me and whom I have not forgiven, yet, I feel no bitterness towards at all. Merely complete indifference. That is where strength comes in. The ability to say: I know what you did. I hate what you did. I dont forgive you. And you know what? You are irrelevant to me on every possible level. Instead of forgiving the Watchtower, I will make my life a testament to the power and freedom that can be acheived when one unchains the mind from cult control and the hollow words of deluded old men.
kid-A: Having said that, there are many people whom I believe have wronged me and whom I have not forgiven, yet, I feel no bitterness towards at all. Merely complete indifference.
I feel bitterness toward my mother, because she promised to do something she did not do. But I am working on letting go of that, the wound is still a little fresh.
Other than that, I don't feel bitterness toward any of the Jehovah's Witnesses I know. I feel regrets that I invested so much time and energy in certain relationships, given the ease with which certain people discarded me, but I am not bitter toward the ones who chose to sacrifice me on their organizational altar.
But as far as the Watchtower goes? They are inexcusable and harmful. In every way that I can I will strive to undermine their hold on the minds of their underlings. Toward that organization I do not feel indifferent; it spews poison into the minds of millions, it teaches and encourages dysfunctional thinking. The organization has made itself a lifelong enemy.
Respectfully,
AuldSoul
Time for definition in my mind with this question:
How does one go about forgiving an organization? An organization is only an entity without life in itself. Often in matters that involve business entities, it is individuals whom must pay retribution for their intended part in the activity that hurt others. Even when the entity is found to be liable in the large sense - still it is individuals who made decisions or contributed to the actions that hurt others, no matter what entity is named the liable one.
In actuality, it was always individuals at the heart of anything that caused hurt or pain to anyone. The problem is identifying who they were. Who wrote the words that created the rules and the doctrines that created all this hurt? Those individuals remain largely anonymous to us now. And if identified, they would relegate the blame to the higher ups who sent the orders to them to write the articles or define the doctrines.
Then there is motive - an organization does not possess motive - but individuals do. Sometimes that motive is as difficult to understand as is the liablity factor. Motive is a organization's heart. It is collective, or it can be individual. In either case it is hard to determine what has been driven by individual motive and what has been driven by collective organizational loyalty at times.
I find it much easier to recognise that at my level of things - right in my own lifeprint - not a single witness that I know of is intentional in his misrepresentation of scripture to others - and though the point is well made by others that non-deliberate error is no excuse - it is easier to overlook for me.
So I maintain a vigil for those whom I still consider in the grip of falsehood - but see no need to forgive them of the larger sins of that falsehood. The corporate structure of WTS cannot be forgiven in the same sense - but I find it a waste of energy trying to attach blame to a corporation anyway.
I find the best use of my energy to be aiding any I can to get free - if that opportunity arises. And a healthy view of them as slaves and not as evil makes that an easier task should it arise. This is not to say I like them all - but if it came down to helping even the most arrogant and hateful one among them to get free, I will.
I have lost a lot - decades of my life - education - fulfillment in many areas of life. But I simply see no person that I could forgive for that, but myself. That I have done. And I move on.
Jeff
Its like being mad at the cat for eating baloney rind and puking on the couch.
Peaceful,
Thank you for this graphic thumbnail of your home life. I almost puked on myself! Just like the thought of "forgiving" the WTS!
Ms. Whip makes very good points.
Personally, I've forgiven the Watchtower, but only recently (2006) and in response to other serious circumstanes in my personal life. I no longer have the room in my life to carry the grudge that has in many ways made me bitter. I realized that by carrying this grudge, I was actually empowering the Watchtower to continue to wreck my life beyond the damage it did to my childhood. By forgiving the Watchtower, I've also freed myself from this burden, and I'm much happier now.
We can't erase what we've been through. But should we allow it to shape our futures?
For my case, it was more about "forget" than "forgive". When you leave them by yourself (i.e., you have limited exposure to other exJWs and are not on a site like this one) - finally that one great day comes when you realize that you have not even thought about their messed up belief system and existence for at least a week or so. Sort of like getting over the flu: you just wake up and realize - say! I am not full of snot anymore and I didn't even realize it for several hours...
At that point you know that they have lost their power to affect your life.
In this sense, I highly recommend not necessarily a "forgiveness" but at least a feeling of "sure, whatever...see ya..wouldn't wanna be ya -"
Also in that sense, I am a little glad that I had the chance to arrive at that point on my own, years before getting onto this site. Things in life seem to go better with just a mild sense of disgust with the WTS rather than a bad case of rabid hate.
James
