by Zico 15 Replies latest jw friends
Lady Lee, WOW!
Ya know, almost every time I log onto JWD I read about something that makes me shake my head. I tell ya, my neck is sore right now!
I'm pretty strong willed, but often wonder how I would have reacted in such a situation as that. Is your mother that controlling and demanding? Was she relentless to the point
that people around her just give in and abide by her wishes? If my mother had been like that, I wonder how I would have reacted.
Again, I'm shaking my head at this. wow.
Oh lordy seems a few of you are quite surprised
loosie
They brothers told them that they couldn't "BE" together until after the wedding in the U.S. even though they were already legally married in Peru.
totally stupid.
ggbg
The elders on one of my JC's told me the reason I "fell into sin" was because I had ridden in cars with male friends and no chaperones. Which is actually total bunk.You'd think that sitting in a car was some kind of sin
Lady Lee, that's terrible!! I'm so sorry you had to go through that complete and utter nonsense. I didn't realize that Jehovah's Witnesses practiced arranged marriages but it sure looks like they do.JWs don't arrange marriages. My mother was very controlling. I suspect though that parents and perhaps even elders have a much stronger veto on who gets married to who.
Oh actually as I was typing this I remembered something. When I was engaged we discussed the possibility of having a small private wedding on Friday night and then a large reception on Saturday. Both sets of parents said if we ended up doing that we couldn't sleep together on Friday night. Which makes zero sense. An elder (the presiding overseer) was going to perform the ceremony even if it was on Friday so why couldn't we sleep together? We would have been married. I'm not even talking about sex; they said we could not share a bed until Saturday night.I think this kind of control goes to the issue that the WTS believes their law is above the law of the land. That and they just don't trust people when they say they were married. Not even the marriage papers are good enough proof.
Elsewhere
Holy Crap! I've had nightmares like that, only I was able to wake up from them. If I were in you situation my nerves would have been totally shot.This was most definitely my nightmare. Took me 15 years to wake up and get out
My mother set me up to "take care of him"
Uhhh, may I ask exactly how you "took care of him"?
I was assigned to talk to him, sit with him, hold him up as we skated (not that I knew how to skate either) Few people knew or liked him. He was considered odd. One time he showed up at the hall with a sash tied through the belt loops to keep his pants up At least he wasn't as odd as most of the old geezers she tried to hook me up with
The other "take care of" happened after the wedding and he made sure I gave him his "taling care of" regardless of how sick I was.
Highlander
Ya know, almost every time I log onto JWD I read about something that makes me shake my head. I tell ya, my neck is sore right now!
Hmmmm maybe that is why I wound up in a cervical collar for months due to neck strain
I'm pretty strong willed, but often wonder how I would have reacted in such a situation as that. Is your mother that controlling and demanding? Was she relentless to the point that people around her just give in and abide by her wishes? If my mother had been like that, I wonder how I would have reacted
My mother had a bad habit of disposing of her kids when they didn't do what they were told. Two went into foster care (my siste at age 15 and me when I had just turned 12). Two of the boys were thrown out of the house and sent to their father at the ages of 13 and 15 and the last boy was kicked out at 15. We all learned early not to cross her.
The really sad thing though is that she was the better parent than my father!!!
Dang those are some pretty weird experiences. In all the 29 years I was a JW here in the USA never heard of anything as bizarre as those. Did see some really young kids get married and start families far to soon. Especially when they were constantly chaperoned and had little time to get to know each other before they rushed into marriage. Shame really, kids should be allowed to experience sex without marriage and fear of pregnancy and disease.
Lady Lee your Mom was something else. Girl good for you breaking free, lord you must have broke free of her control first and foremost. No wonder your so strong.
Balsam
Wow Lady Lee your mom makes mine look halfway decent.
Balsam
Did see some really young kids get married and start families far to soon. Especially when they were constantly chaperoned and had little time to get to know each other before they rushed into marriage. Shame really, kids should be allowed to experience sex without marriage and fear of pregnancy and disease.
We had situations in our cong where there were so few eligible brothers that the women in their 20's were marrying the gus as soon as they were old enough to legally get married.
Lady Lee your Mom was something else. Girl good for you breaking free, lord you must have broke free of her control first and foremost. No wonder your so strong.
What's that saying? "if it doesn't kill ya it'll make you stronger"
loosie
she was actually an improvement over my grandmother
It's too old fashioned and an interference in personal liberties, who wants to be chaperoned in the year 2006? It shows what sort of humiliations the JWs have to go through.
