Empty Nest Survival tips?

by serendipity 10 Replies latest social family

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    My daughter is 17 and it's occurred to me the chick will be leaving the nest in a few short years. Since I'm single, she's the sole focus of my attention at home, and it's hard to deal with her growing up. It's so hard, that I get teary-eyed just thinking about it, and I'm not generally a weepy woman.

    For those of you who have lived through this, how did you cope?

  • prophecor
    prophecor

    Slow and easy there, Serendipity. Who's to say that shes gonna' be jumping ship soon? Is she set to go off to college? Is she in a serious dating relationship, yet? She might not be ready to exit, stage left for a while.

    Were it not for your being single, I imagine it might be a lot easier. I'm married and we've got one more left to go before he rolls out, though at this rate, he may be here till he's thirty something!!! I'm at the point where the sooner the better. Though I have no idea what me and the Mrs. will be doing for the next leg of the journey. Think I better get a hobby or something.

    Is she your one and only?

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Been there, done that. I lasted two years.

    • Pick up a hobby that takes you out of the house in the evenings and is for you alone.
    • On quiet evenings, keep on a radio or TV for background noise.
    • Buy fewer groceries than you think you need. (I threw out a lot of sour milk).
    • Don't try and cook for one. Cook as you usually do and freeze the leftovers.
  • serendipity
    serendipity


    HI prophecor, yes, she's the only child. I don't want the event to sneak up on me, so I think about it sometimes. I want to keep on the lookout for diversions.

  • parakeet
    parakeet

    when she does leave, make it easy for her to keep in tough with you. Text messaging by cell phone works well because it doesn't take much time for her to respond and won't interrupt what she's doing. Ditto with e-mail. Send little "care" packages with goodies/small gifts from time to time (if she moves out of your area). These things worked well with my son because they didn't take up much of his time yet he still feels that Mom and Dad care.

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    Thanks prophecor, jgnat and parakeet. Anyone else?

  • james_woods
    james_woods

    Sometimes when they all leave, a black and white kittykat will come up to your back door and cry for food...

    You will know what to do at that time.

    James

  • luna2
    luna2

    I cried a lot...and I'm not a crier either. It was very hard letting him go. My son moved out about three and a half years ago and that was tough. Then he moved back in after a year on his own and I found myself getting annoyed at certain things...I'd gotten used to be alone. He moved out again about a year and a half ago. I took it better the second time around. We meet for lunch about once every other week and talk on the phone weekly. He still borrows money from me. I make him fix my car. If he moves out of state I'll probably crumble into a wet heap.

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    My oldest moved across the country two years ago . I cried for months....i am a big baby though . I then got another part time job - driving school bus- just to fill up my time more .I also started my own business out of my photography hobby . The diversions really helped me when six months later my second son moved three hours away . We call each other alot , and we email and have myspace accounts. I still have days were I am just sick missing them , but I am also so happy to see them making a life of their own. It is fun to learn about their new areas and to visit. My husband and I don't think the youngest son (18) will ever leave !

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    A genius mom-friend filled her basement with adult toys her children would enjoy. A weight set and a pool table for the boys, for instance. That way, they visit more often.

    It works like a charm.

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