Humor isn't getting much attention today. I'll post this anyway. It got a couple chuckles from me:
MURPHY'S LAWS ON WORK
There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said there would be so many.
To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.
A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants.
Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
When upper management talks about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
The PC that has locked up on you all day will work perfectly when the IT guy finally gets there to fix it.
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a darned fool about it.
When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
The last person who quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong — until the next person quits or is fired.
The higher the "higher-ups" are who're sitting in on your presentation, the lower your chances are of giving a successful one.
You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
The authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens he or she is carrying.
No one gets sick on Wednesdays.
SEEN ON AN OFFICE WALL WARNING: "Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."
