need Help! not sure what to do.

by confuuused 27 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  confuuused

  Hi all, hope that someone can help!

  I was recently studying with the jw's and I'm just not sure on what to do.

  I feel guilty because I canceled study for the time being. I just have so many questions

  and like some of you they avoid the question or give me the run around.

  I really have a hard time with some of their beliefs. They say if I become jw then I would

  have to stay away from my family because they are not of the "JW's world". I asked about my

  kids (ages 16 & 17) because they now live with their father. I was told because they do not live

  in the same house as I do the same would apply to them. Am I wrong in thinking that this is

  just not right.That because someone does not have the same beliefs as I do that they should

  be shunned? I was raised to love all no matter their religion or what they have done. That you

  should help others come to Christ not avoid them because they are not of your world. Please

  help was I taught wrong or am I thinking the right way,that jw's teachings of shunning people

  is wrong. Really confused and feeling guilty.

  Thanks for any help or advice.
• 

  Dismembered

  Welcome confuuused

  Am I wrong in thinking that this is just not right.

  No! Cancel your study immediately. And hang on for a barrage of intelligent responds to your question.

  Dismembered
• 

  lovelylil

  Please cancel your study immediately. I also had questions like yours but ignored them and almost lost my husband years later trying to break off from this cult. You are correct that they are wrong. They may be sincere people but are misled. They do not have the true spirit of Christ. They hate everyone and everything that is not Jehovah's Witness and they have already judged the world as being evil. Meaning all the people in it are evil except for them. They view everyone as their enemies and are taught to ABHOR them just because they believe in something different. These beliefs go directly opposite of what Christ taught Christians, and here are some verse you can share with them:

  Matthew 5:43,44 - Jesus says that it is not true to hate even your enemies, you must love them and pray for them who persecute you

  Luke 6:35 - Love even your enemies and do good to them, never asking for anything in return

  Luke 6:37 - Do not judge or condem - JWs do the opposite they have judged all mankind and have condemed them.
• 

  Honesty

  Just ask yourself, "What would Jesus do"?

  The Jehovah's Witneses are a cult. They will not allow you to worship Jesus as His early church did. They will not allow you to pray to Him.

  They will make you obey and submit to the "Faithful Discreet Slave" also known as the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses.

  The Governing Body will become your 'Christ' if you join the Jehovah's Witnesses.
• 

  Lady Liberty

  Dear Confuused,

  Welcome!!!! You did the right thing...CHECK THINGS OUT IF THEY DON'T SEEM RIGHT!!! I was raised in the organization, and that IS their policy. And if you wait to question things like this that don't seem right to you until AFTER baptism, well then they will SHUN you too!! My husband and I are being shunned right now for this very thing. All though no announcement has been made in the congregation. Gossip has seen that the job got done anyway! We have serious questions regarding the date 607. Without that date most of what they teach crumbles! We have met 2 times with the Elders, and still NO answers. Word has it they plan to delite us. So all the friends I have ever known will follow suit and support their decision. All because we have questions. We ask others in our ministry to examine their faith, yet after you are baptised you had better accept the answers given, if you get any that is. Or you will be shunned! Please don't jump into ANYTHING! Stay around a while here, look at what people share with you. I hope this helps. If you want you can PM me and later we can talk more!

  SIncerely,

  Lady Liberty
• 

  lovelylil

  One more thing. Here is one verse they like to use a lot, they may read to you 1John 2:15 that says not to love the world or the things in it and say this is the basis for them hating the world. But if they read it to you, have them read the next verse also, 1John2:16 because it tells you exactly what the previous verse is talking about and it is not people. It is the cravings of sinful man, lustful eyes, and boasting. That is all. It has nothing to do with the people in the world.

  Think about this also, who in their right mind would tell someone not to spend time with their own children? The bible says children are a gift from God.

  Mark off any scriptures that people give you in your bible and be ready to read them. Also, just to let you know they will be ready too with texts pulled out of context to try and prove their point. Have them read any scriptures they quote in the whole context, including the before and after verses so it will make sense. Anyone can pluck out a verse and apply it to anything. Good Luck, let us know how it goes.
• 

  Crumpet

  Welcome to the board Confuuused. Multiply your guilt that you feel now by 10 times and imagine that for the rest of your life for that is the legacy of joining this cult - you will never feel good enough, you will always be counselled to do more and try harder.

  And you already acknowledge that whilst you feel guilty for putting your study on hold you also recognise that failing to answer your sincere questions honestly is not right and that being discouraged from association with your own children and non JW family goes against your motherly instinct. Any "religion" that tries to monopolise you and alienate you from your own family is a cult and not from God.

  Stick around and ask some of yoru questions heer and maybe some of us can come up with answers that we have as fellow human beings with our various life experiences and not answers that come from a massive and very wealthy publishing corporation in Brooklyn.

  Be proud of yourself for questioning - you have an open mind. Mind was closed for 29 years - even though I had left I still thought what I had been brain washed to believe was true. How wrong I was and how much it has damaged my life.

  Never stop asking questions and whilst life can still be surprising and confusing - at least you are pursuing the option to find answers or make your own answers and not following klike a blind lamb to the slaughter.
• 

  MidwichCuckoo

  I just wanted to say WELCOME Confuuused.

  I feel guilty because I canceled study for the time being

  Really confused and feeling guilty.

  Cancel IMMEDIATELY and DON'T FEEL GUILTY. Easy for me to say, I know. But THINK about it - you are HERE with your doubts, you KNOW something doesn't ring true. Right-minded people KNOW shunning is an unChristian act - would Jesus do it or encourage it?

  Please keep us posted.
• 

  undercover

  I really have a hard time with some of their beliefs. They say if I become jw then I would

  have to stay away from my family because they are not of the "JW's world". I asked about my

  kids (ages 16 & 17) because they now live with their father. I was told because they do not live

  in the same house as I do the same would apply to them. Am I wrong in thinking that this is

  just not right.

  Right there is your answer. You have a hard time with their beliefs. You are wary about the teaching of leaving your fleshly family behind while pursuing the religion. Trust your instincts. Our instincts are usually more correct than we're willing to give them credit for.

  My advice to anyone studying with JWs is to research the religion from all angles. Don't take what they say as gospel. Don't take what we(ex-JWs) say as gospel. Study their history, their doctrines and how they have changed over the years. Question everything they try to teach you. Some things may make sense, some things may not. The things that don't make sense, question and keep questioning until you get a satisfactory answer. If they can't answer it or if they give you the run around that should raise a flag. Then see if you can find those answers outside of their "official" publications. Compare what they say to what outsiders say. In the end, it's your decision as to what you want to do or what you want to believe.

  As mostly ex-JWs here, we are biased against the religious order of Jehovah's Witnesses and the Watchtower Society. Many here have seen the ugly side of the religion and could tell you horror storeis. Others of us have just awoken and realized that we were being lied to the whole time and chose to walk away. In any case, any one who wishes to leave the JWs after joining has a very difficult time. That's why we are so quick to tell people to not get too involved with them.

  But don't take our word any more than you would take a JWs work. Research it for yourself. Then trust your instinct.
• 

  AuldSoul

  confuused,

  Please help was I taught wrong or am I thinking the right way, that JW's teachings of shunning people is wrong.

  In the First Century, persons who not only failed to live up to high moral standards but who actually flaunted a degraded moral standard in the congregation were expelled—from the congregation. This was only done in cases where the perversion was shocking even by the standards of those who did not call themselves Christian. But, even in these cases, the one expelled was no longer "called a brother" and there is no indication that he was shunned by Christians after being removed from the congregation.

  However, in such extreme cases the congregation (not only the elders, but everyone) was thoroughly aware of the specific situation that led to expulsion from the congregation. Also, not everyone had to agree with the judgement. Only a majority. Anyone who disagreed with the majority was not compelled to treat the individual any differently than they always had done.

  2 Corinthians 2:5-8 — Now if anyone has caused sadness, he has saddened, not me, but all of YOU to an extent—not to be too harsh in what I say. 6 This rebuke given by the majority is sufficient for such a man, 7 so that, on the contrary now, YOU should kindly forgive and comfort [him], that somehow such a man may not be swallowed up by his being overly sad. 8 Therefore I exhort YOU to confirm YOUR love for him.

  One exception to this general practice involves the antichrist. Specifically, those who taught in the congregation that the Christ did not come in the flesh or that the Christ was never resurrected. Such a person was cut off completely. This is the ONLY offense for which shunning (JW-style) is prescribed in the Bible.

  1 John 2:18-19 — Young children, it is the last hour, and, just as YOU have heard that antichrist is coming, even now there have come to be many antichrists; from which fact we gain the knowledge that it is the last hour. 19 They went out from us, but they were not of our sort; for if they had been of our sort, they would have remained with us. But [they went out] that it might be shown up that not all are of our sort.
  2 John 4-11 — I rejoice very much because I have found certain ones of your children walking in the truth, just as we received commandment from the Father. 5 So now I request you, lady, as [a person] writing you, not a new commandment, but one which we had from [the] beginning, that we love one another. 6 And this is what love means, that we go on walking according to his commandments. This is the commandment, just as YOU people have heard from [the] beginning, that YOU should go on walking in it. 7 For many deceivers have gone forth into the world, persons not confessing Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh. This is the deceiver and the antichrist.
  8 Look out for yourselves, that YOU do not lose the things we have worked to produce, but that YOU may obtain a full reward. 9 Everyone that pushes ahead and does not remain in the teaching of the Christ does not have God. He that does remain in this teaching is the one that has both the Father and the Son. 10 If anyone comes to YOU and does not bring this teaching, never receive him into YOUR homes or say a greeting to him. 11 For he that says a greeting to him is a sharer in his wicked works.

  Pretty clear from the context that the teaching referred to is not the teaching of the Governing Body. The teaching that someone calling themselves a Christian MUST have is the teaching that Christ did come in the flesh. Anyone calling themselves a Christian and bringing some other teaching is the antichrist. Such an offense is the only offense for which the Bible recommends shunning.

  Still, even this offense is not judged in a closed door meeting by a few men who report their decision to the congregation. This is an instruction given to the individual members of the Body of Christ (the congregations) as something they decide for themselves on an individual basis.

  So, I would say you are not wrong. Shunning (and judging) as conducted by Jehovah's Witnesses is one of the most destructive and provably unscriptural doctrines they have.

  Respectfully,
  AuldSoul