Awful Dream

by unique1 14 Replies latest jw friends

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  Fleur

  I'm so very sorry, honey (((((((((Unique))))))) I hate dreams like that. I have all kinds of them, variations on a theme, but they all run along the same lines. i'm the family failure and embarrassment, I'm the one who broke Grandma's heart before she died by not getting reinstated...then there was the one where my mother told me that I killed my ex's dad, giving him cancer from grief about my divorcing his son and leaving the "truth"...oh wait. That last one wasn't a dream. My mother actually said that to me, the day they buried my ex-father in law :(

  This stuff all sucks. I wish I could've made my grandma happy before she died, but I just couldn't give in and go back to a lie. I believe now that she understands everything I did, and why. I think we're both at peace at last about it all.

  hugs,

  essie
• 

  unique1

  Wow Essie, sorry to hear that, but I feel that we have a lot in common. I am the only child my parents have. Sometimes I wish I had a sibling to show my parents how good of a kid I really am, but they probably still wouldn't recognize it.
• 

  greendawn

  Dreams are certainly not predicting any future events but rather they are talking with us in symbols, what we see in them should not be taken literally, therefore mother and father in dreams are symbols of mental states rather than literal people.
• 

  Elsewhere

  Sounds like a side effect of emotional blackmail from your family.

  "Renounce everything you believe in or we will shun and reject you! Oh, and if anyone dies, it's YOUR FAULT!"

  (((( unique1 ))))

  Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward
• 

  Fleur

  Susan Forward is a great writer! Her book Toxic Parents was a huge wakeup call for me and literally, changed my life. It's the book that sent me to therapy, which I needed so badly. I also love Martha Beck, there are a bunch of great Beck articles on the Oprah magazine website. She's a genius.

  Unique...I have siblings and I can tell you, it makes no difference. While my siblings have not been there for my parents at ALL as they've aged, grown more health problems, and grown more 'needy', my husband and I, the "black sheep" and the "Worldly spouse" respectively, have been there for them. Sometimes, they appreciate it, I know my father does more than my mother. But sometimes, my mother still says the most horrible, hurtful things because she's angry at me for not going back.

  But she's angry, period. They promised her she'd never get old. She's retirement age now, and no new system with youth, vitality, her dead loved ones returned, and as my husband likes to put it, "lions playing frisbee with sheep at the eternal picnic." She feels cheated. she has been cheated. But she thinks that salvation is tied to the borg, so no matter what, she stays.

  You know the best thing I found to help ward off these dreams most of the time? (not always successful, but more of the time than not as years go by) is to think of a very happy memory from recent years. I close my eyes, and remember the sounds, sights, smells, the emotions I felt at that moment...and when I fall asleep, I dream good things.

  I hope your dreams get kinder and kinder with time, my dear ((((((big hugs))))

  essie