I come from a very close family and have been disfellowshipped for 3 months, the first person to be disfellowshipped out of about 20 baptised family members. At the moment my parents and one cousin shuns me. But my other cousins, grandparents and sister do not. Both my grandmothers said they could never shun me and I am always welcome in their houses. Some friends still talk to me and others don't, but that does not bother me, as it taught me about true friendship. I once walked into a shop and a sister that happened to be in there abruptly stopped her conversation with the owner and literally ran out the door. As angry as it made me feel it reinforced that followers of the Watchtower Society are truly blind.
My father is a Circuit Overseer, so my disfellowshipping has been of particular embarrassment to my parents. I spent a lot of time arguing with my mother about Watchtower doctrine and the bible. The transition going from being a devoted believer to loosing faith in the Watchtower Society was very traumatic and my ideas and emotions varied widely. Eventually my parents resigned themselves to the fact that I was no longer a Witness. However they were extremely angry that I allowed myself to be disfellowshipped. They wanted me to sell my house and business and move to another city to avoid being tracked down by the elders. To me that was hypocritical, surely the principle of whether they should or should not shun me exists regardless of whether or not I am announced from a platform. What is most distressing for them at this time is that at the end of 2006 is there 40th anniversary and they planned to have a large celebration. Without me there they no longer feel that can have such family celebrations. Interestingly my mother claims she is not shunning me for being disfellowshipped, but because I have become an angry unbearable person, and that until I take responsibility for my anger she does not want to associate with me. I hold out hope that we will communicate again one day.
My sister started to shun me before I was disfellowshipped, which made sense to me, as if I am ‘apostate’ then why wait for an announcement? When I was disfellowshipped I sent a letter to her and my parents apologizing for my behaviour over the past year but that it was a product of the Post Traumatic Shock Disorder that I was going through. That seemed to reach something in my sister’s heart and just recently she called me saying that she wants to keep in touch.
Most disappointing has been that I have been banned from seeing one of my cousins. We were best friends during our entire lives. Recently she gave birth to a very sick child and I spent many nights visiting them in hospital over the months that he spent there. After the announcement of my no longer being a Jehovah's Witnesses my cousins husband, an elder in my congregation called me and told me I am no longer to see them. My little cousin was recently in hospital again and I was not even told.
My uncle visited me the other day, as I had to do his tax return. It seemed that business is a good excuse for a get together. He was very emotional when he left, and he later told one of my family members that he so wanted to cuddle me and kept remembering when I was just a child. He was torn between treating me how he naturally felt and between how he knows he is supposed to behave (the Watchtower way).
Part of the reason I went out of my way to be disfellowshipped was to help wake my family from the mental prison they are in. I learnt that any amount of reasoning would not open the manipulated mind, but that maybe appealing to their hearts will. So far it seems to be having an affect on some of them. Though the fear of being disfellowshipped was emotionally devastating to me it turned out to be the most wonderful thing to happen and each day I feel more and more alive. I know that over the years fewer and fewer will remain trapped in the organization and it is that hope that sustains me. I feel with great sadness for those disfellowshipped in decades gone by that held out no such hope.
Disfellowshipping is unscriptural and a sign of a cult. In Corinthians it does not say to shun a person, but just to avoid socializing with people that practice wrongdoing. The only scripture about not greeting a person is by John, and the application is to the Antichrist. The Watchtower combines all sorts of minor wrongs as deserving of the treatment the bible says should only be reserved for the Antichrist.
In reality there is no need to formally disfellowship a person. Once a person stops behaving as a Witness they are naturally excluded from social events. When I stopped going to meetings a year before being disfellowshipped I stopped receiving invitations out. When I started to talk against Watchtower doctrine even my closest friends stopped visiting as they did not want their faith shaken. That is why other religious groups have it right when they leave it up to the conscience of the individual to determine who should be socialized with based on their behaviour.
