My First Memorial Experience (From someone who has never been a JW)

by whyizit 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • whyizit
    whyizit

    I told you I would post, so if you are interested, here it is:

    We were walking toward the building laughing and happy, and I noticed that we were the only ones in good spirits. Everyone else was dressed to the nines and somber. Unless they were speaking directly to someone, no smiles.

    I guess all of the Memorials are basically the same. No reason to go over every detail. You all know what the speaker had to say. I won't re-hash that.

    The guy who was doing all the talking would say two sentences and then "fake smile". It was very mechanical. He would speak left to right, right to left, fake smile every two sentences. Nothing really bad about that, just kind of odd. Nearly put me to sleep.

    Before they got around to passing the emblems, he was really letting everyone know how serious it would be if someone took them and were not among the annointed. (No, we didn't do it. Tempting as it might be.)

    He did do a couple of slip ups. He was going on about how "churches use grape juice, but we use real red wine", etc... then he told the guys to come up and get ready to pass the "red rum", " (oops) I mean red wine! " (That kind of creeped me out, because it reminded me of The Shining!)

    He also said, "We are celebrating, ....I mean memorializing, Jesus' death tonight." (I think he got it right the first time.)

    My husband thought it was really silly to pass the bread and wine to every single person, when they knew no one is suppose to take it. Why not just line up the oldest people in the front seats, and if none of them take it, be done with it?!

    Over-crowded and no windows. I was hoping no one would set the place on fire. We would all be sitting ducks! Saw some "sexier-than-I-expected" dresses.

    The lady behind us asked me if I enjoyed the service. I just nodded politely. Then she couldn't wait to bash "other churches", because they only celebrate the resurrection. I thought, "Isn't that the point?! Isn't that the gospel?!" People get tortured and die, even now. Being sinless, dying for the sins of all, being dead for three days, and coming back to life is pretty awesome! That was kind of the big deal about Lazarus, wasn't it? Being dead, to the point of smelling like rotten flesh, yet Jesus restored him. Pretty cool. Don't see that every day.

    Then this guy who came to our house one time with our JW guy, he comes up and he is real big on the number of hours he witnesses. Brag-brag-brag- about the time he spends out in the field. I couldn't get away from him! He cornered me and kept making small talk, throwing in "Jehovah" and "the end times" every now and then. I knew what he was doing. He was racking up numbers at my expense! I thought that was kind of rude. Thought about asking him to read Gal. 6:14 to me, but decided he might be offended, and I didn't want to cause a rift between our JW friends, over his over-bearing time-counting game.

    My husband saw a group of kids (4 - 6 yrs. old) in the back of the KH and he was talking to them. They had the deer-in-the-headlight look. Like: "Are we in trouble?" Then when they realized he was just wanting to chit-chat with them, they relaxed some. Never smiled, though. Very guarded. I thought that was a little strange. Our son smiles all the time. Especially when he is with his buddies. Not these kids. Too serious.

    During the 30 minute tour of the bread and wine, I prayed for everyone there. I think I might have been the only one besides my husband who really was actually praying. The guy on the stage was looking at me funny when I opened my eyes. Like, "What the heck is she doing over there?" My husband said he also memorized 1 Cor. 11:26---he kept thinking, "Can't you continue for two more verses?" I don't think it wold have registered anyway. After all, they read Rev. 14 where it said the 144,000 were undifiled by women, and that didn't seem to phase anyone.

    At first, I was a little nervous about going. Now I feel silly for thinking like that. Here's my conclusion: They are all just people. It is just a building. Many seemed frightened to a degree, most looked tired, and many were obviously sad and lonely people who didn't seem to fit in anywhere else. Some of them even said so.

    I'm glad I went, but I don't have any desire to ever go again. It broke my heart to see Jesus left out of His own memorial. Everything was centered around "we're better than they are", and "you better not take the emblems".

    Our JW friends who invited us, asked if it was like anything we had ever been to before. My husband said, "Different than some, similar to others." Their jaws dropped. Then we said our good byes and went home. Empty feeling. I just wonder if it was like that for the others?

    Whyizit

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge

    I experience something similar when my JW friend invited me a few years back. Boring and empty. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  • anewme
    anewme

    Wow, what a report Whyizit! Your words made me feel as if I was there. The last time I went I too had the empty feeling of dissatisfaction and worry we had insulted Jesus somehow by the sterile service.
    Shudder.

    I am glad I am making better decisions for myself these days and declined to go this year.

    I stayed home with my loved one and sat by the cozy fire with him and the puppies.

    Oh, at 8 oclock I said "Oh, I almost forgot to go and pay my respects to the Memorial moon!"
    My husband asked if I wanted him to join me. I said sure. We both put on our slippers and quietly went out the screen door and down the porch and there it was-----the beautiful myserious and full Memorial Moon, the Passover Moon, The Spring Moon.

    It was beautiful and my husband and I locked arms around each other and shared a prayer of thanks to Jesus for all he tried to do to help us.

    Satisfied, we walked back into the cabin and closed the door on the cold night air. Memorial 2006

  • gumby
    gumby
    Satisfied, we walked back into the cabin and closed the door on the cold night air

    .....and.....and....and then what happened?

    Gumby

  • Mary
    Mary

    Don't pay any attention to Gumby......he's a dirty-minded bastard if ever there was one.

    My husband said he also memorized 1 Cor. 11:26---he kept thinking, "Can't you continue for two more verses?" I don't think it wold have registered anyway. After all, they read Rev. 14 where it said the 144,000 were undifiled by women, and that didn't seem to phase anyone.

    Ya, I noticed that too last night.......they always skip over the part in Revelation where it names the 12 Tribes of Israel as being the 144,000...........

  • Darth Yhwh
    Darth Yhwh

    Thanks for sharing your experience. As an ex-JDub who was raised in the cult, it's refreshing to read and experience and opinion such as your own from an outsider's perspective.

    Personally I always enjoyed the memorial as a kid growing up. I always got a new suit which helped my self confidence. It was a relatively short meeting time wise and half of the meeting was spent on passing the wine and crackers around. I didnt have to pay attention or worry about falling asleep.

    As I got a little older I decided to bring the wine cup up to my face to take a breath in of the aroma. That would always get a gasp or two from nibby noses near by afraid that I was about to partake. LOL.

  • just2sheep
    just2sheep


    whyizit,

    thanks for posting your experience, you were not the only one who had the exact same evening. once you have seen one, you have truly seen them all...only the names, faces, and places change. the brother who gave the talk was taught to speak the way he did (fake smile, mechanical delivery, speak left to right;right to left, fake smile) by people who learned to speak that way from people who spoke that way. it is formulaistic and leads to a very stilted way of talking. nodding off is so common as to be almost acceptable (snoring is considered bad form though)

    "...i think i might have been the only one besides my husband who really was actually praying." if you had been where we were there would have been four of us praying for everyone there, so surely there were others. lets hope so anyway. at any rate i thought it was a loving thing for ya'll to do.

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    That's a good humourous account of the strange JW ritual of the memorial, as you astutely noted it is bizarre that they pass around the bread and wine to all when they know that no one or perhaps one or two will partake. Why not do as the catholics or orthodox do and have those that feel able to partake go to the front and do so?

  • Honesty
    Honesty

    Whyizit, I prayed for them silently Wednesday night during our Prayer Service at church. If I had thought about it beforehand I would have asked the entire congregation to join in prayer for them, too. We've prayed for all the JW's in the past. A couple have even been baptised by our pastor after they rejected the WATCHTOWER and accepted Christ as their Lord and Savior and began serving Him instead of the Governing Body. I wish I had thought to mention it aloud.

  • tan
    tan








    Ours said "brandy".

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