First Df was in 1997 - 3 elders and no appeal commitee (figured why bother, ya know?)
Reinstated in the end of 1998.
Inactive status right now, but I never know where the elders lurk next...
When I go out, I will go out with a BANG!
When and Where D'fed or such....
by StifflersErSlayersBrother 14 Replies latest jw friends
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roybatty
DA'd in October of 2000 for joining the local YMCA.
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Hojon
Never DF'd or DA'd, although at this point it might be kind of fun to face the elders. Certainly not 10 years ago when I quit, but now knowing what I do I would almost welcome a meeting.
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hungry4life
I have been out just over 3 years and have never been so much as reproved. I still live in the same town although in a different congregations territory (I did live in my old congs. territory for 18 months ) I had the elders come to my door only once (funny cause when I was in they used to say they visited all inactives every year ). I have not hidden from them, my number is listed and I have yet to ever even receive an invitation to the memorial let alone a door to door visit. When the elders did come they asked why I did not attend meetings anymore (this was Fall of 99). I explained to them that since I had been a loyal witness I had taken their advice not to work or go to school, in order to more fully partake in the witnessing work(i.e. pioneer). I also explained that since my JW husband had left me (they knew all about it they had DF'd him). I had no choice but to work in order to support my family (after all this is the bibles command , I did not want to be worse than a person without faith
and since I had few skills I was attending school at night in order to improve my circumstances and live above poverty level (I know selfish of me huh). They did not criticize me nor did they offer to help in anyway (never had). They said they understood and asked if it would be o.k. if they asked one of their wives to call on me. I said no it would not, I explained that it had been over a year since I had left and with the exception of one phone call from an elderly sister no one had even attempted to contact me or encourage me in anyway. (It was obvious to them that I was not hiding). I let them know that I was not comfortable with them obligating their wives to "befriend" me and that it would be far from encouraging for me since even my closest friends (elders wives) in the congregation had chosen to avoid and ignore me during the most difficult period of my life.( This despite the fact that before my husband was DF'd I was in the "center of the congregation" and that his disfellowshipping was not tied to my actions in anyway). They had the inside scoop on all that had happened and knew I was telling the truth. I also asked them where they had been a year ago and told them I was hurt by their actions (or lack of them). They apologized saying they were imperfect ( I know hard to beleive)I was crying and again I stressed how much pain this had caused me (more to the story ,too long to post here maybe someday I will put it in the experience section) I asked them to leave as my children were home in their room playing and I did not want them to see me this upset. They agreed and left. I have not heard from any of them since(2 years ago). I don't know what to make of it, My biggest theory is that since I have no family in the org and was not associating with anyone I had nothing to lose (thus no pressure) so why bother to try to DF me. Then again I also feel that they knew the way they handled my husband's disfellowshipping and our subsequent divorce was pretty shoddy and felt some guilt. My points were valid and even though I was at times harsh my responses were honest. What do you think? In the long run it was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I will never go back. I have not DA'd cause I will not play their game. I am not a witness and I do not need their authority to leave. (sometimes I wish they would stop back by, I am so much stronger and have a much clearer understanding of the WT farce. They wouldn't get off so easy next time). -
messenger
hungryforlife,
Excellent post, so glad to hear of folks like you who are able to move on with their life. What could the elders say? Nothing at all for you said it. How little they have to offer, yet how much they expect. Are your children doing OK? Mine have hit the ground running and are happier than they have ever been.By the way, not da or df, just nc.
non cultmember
since 00