Dr Jekyll
Can you teach me how to block sites from computers running windows XP? That would be something handy to use here at work and home.
Els
Go with candidlynuts idea and I vote for no lube. And remember its only kinky the first time.
Need marriage help
by els 15 Replies latest jw friends
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happyout
Els,
I am in a similar situation, but without the good years of trust that you shared. My thoughts on the subject (which may not match yours) are honesty is everything, and once you lie about one thing, I have to wonder what else you are lying about.
I think you should do two things A) talk to him again, but delve deeper into what the sites are giving him that he feels is missing. B) Decide how important it is to you, and ensure he understands whatever consequences there will be for the continuation of his actions. If you really think it's no big deal (but I agree with the others, if you didn't think it was, you probably wouldn't have posted the situation), then leave it alone. If you DO think it's a big deal, protect yourself. Get an exam to ensure you are healthy (in case he has taken it to another level) and decide what is required of the relationship to stay. Counseling could be a great start.
I believe I am headed for divorce, so it may seem like I shouldn't be giving advice, however, if I had been strong years ago, I would not find myself in this situation now. Take control.
Happyout
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els
OK, I'm going to talk to him about it. I know I am blowing it out of proportion. Thanks for the advice. els
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love2Bworldly
I have been married for less than 3 years, and it took me almost a year to find out that my new spouse is addicted to pornography. It almost cost us our marriage because he tried to blame it on our teenage kids (the history on the computer showed all the sites he had been visiting). When I found out MY visa card in my name had been used on the internet to pay for some kind of subscription, I knew it wasn't the kids. Anyway, to make a long story short, I found out he had been terribly abused by a relative when he was growing up and had never told anyone. He has been through some therapy and is hopefully getting better. I am not a prude and didn't have a problem with the pornography so much as the dishonesty--it really pissed me off and I almost left him. I think what upset me about the whole thing besides the dishonesty, was the lack of sex in our marriage on top of his addiction to porn.
Anyway, I'm hoping our marriage works out but I am frustrated to be married to a person with an addictive personality.
I hope everything works out for you. Marriage is hard work.
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juni
Hi els,
I read your second post. First of all - HOW OLD IS YOUR HUSBAND? Maybe I should PM you. You've got a lot of good advice here from the comical to practical. But you have to get to the root of the problem. Have you or are you able to seek out a counselor who could draw him out as to why he's preferring porn now. Counselors are trained to cut through the bull**** so I believe this could help you guys.
You have a lot of history together w/your family and each other. Sounds like your marriage is basically good except for this issue.
Juni
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jstalin
Ok, a few thoughts -
- Looking at porn is normal for guys. It doesn't mean they aren't interested in their woman or that their woman doesn't satify their needs, it just window shopping for guys.
- Just talk to him about it. Don't confront him or be defensive - just talk about it. You're both mature adults who can handle emotional issues. Talk about it calmly.