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poodlehead

Hey all,

I am devoriced and my 13 year old son lives with my Ex, who is a JW. He is very strict and my son is very unhappy. But he doesn't want to move in with me because he is scared of his father. But all he talks about is he doesn't get to do anything and has no friends. My son is very gifted and secretly want to direct Movies when he grows up. You would think he wanted to be a male prostitute the way people treat him when they find out.

He recently got in trouble at school and was arrested. Stupid mistake. He brought a knife to school. Because a kid he didn't know threatened to kill him. Had he ever been allowed to play with kids he would have known this meant nothing. Instead he paniced. His father has taken all preveliges from him. Movies, Phone, Television, Books (other than homework and JW books) and computer.

I have tried to talk with his father, but he never would comunicate with me. Have any idea's!

Thank!

nicolaou

Welcome poodlehead!

That's quite a situation you got there. How do you think your ex would react to sharing custody of your son? I'm not really qualified to give advice so I'll just wish you good luck. Others here will be more experienced and useful I'm sure.

Nic'

TheListener

Welcome Poodlehead.

I don't really know a lot about the situation you find yourself in. I would suggest finding a local family counselor who may have some sage advice for you. Perhaps you can gain custody without your son getting involved in front of his father. Maybe talking to the judge behind closed doors or something.

Good luck and I'm glad you found this forum. You will get a better understanding of what your ex-husband may be thinking.

MerryMagdalene

Welcome Poodlehead

I'm sorry for what you and your son are having to deal with. It must be terrible to see your kid in an unhappy, soul-destructive situation, and not know what to do about it.

I'm bringing this back to the top so someone else will see it who might have something more helpful to say.

Best wishes,

~Merry

greendawn

Welcome to the forum poodlehead, his father obviously has no clue as to how to let a teen kid to grow normally, if I may ask how did he come to have custody of your son given his behaviour? You should complain that it is psychologically damaging to the child.

jgnat

Tell your son your home is always open for him. Be as welcoming as possible. I suspect in a year or two he will be brave enough to stand up to his father and move in with you. Make sure you are ready for him.

ButtLight

Welcome to the board! If it were me, I would try to take custody, and let the poor child live a normal life! Kids that age have a hard time growing up as a jw, i know i did!

bikerchic

Welcome to JWD poodlehead!

I'm sorry for your woes. Divorce is always a hard thing on children but then again you are experiencing that nothing I can tell you about what you are facing daily.

If you have any visitation awarded by the courts with your son you might want to consider getting your him into martial arts karate, judo or some thing so he will learn self discipline and how to protect himself without the use of a weapon like guns or knives, (bad things), but for him learning to defend himself could be a good thing. I hope that helps.

Balsam

When my JW husband and I divorced I faced a simular situation with my 13 year old son who chose to live with his Dad. I left the religion and my son was warned that I was an apostate. He complained about living with this Dad and hated the pressure he was put under but would never come to live with me because I had moved away from his home town. It is a tough situation. If you want to talk email me at : [email protected]

Very tough situation and your son will eventually rebel at the JW lifestyle.

Balsam

poodlehead

Thanks for all the interest in my situation. I do have joint custody, although you would think I didn't. My ex tells me nothing of what is going on in my sons life, till he has to. I can visit him whenever I want but he is not exactly next door. We decided when we broke up not to move my son out of his home. My husband kept the house and I got the shaft as it turned out. But I didn't want to hurt my son. He has learning problems and was in a school that was working with him. I moved where I could aford to move. Not a nice place and didn't want him to go to school there. I regret my dicision now. My husband has use our son as the tool to try and hurt me. At 13 years old I can not go before a judge unless my son agrees to go. I recently sat him down and told him to write down the pros and cons about living with his father versus me. He said he wanted to stay with his father. But when I asked him why all he would say is "I don't know." You with kids know this means, I do know but I don't want to talk about it. Meaning his father has told him terrible things about me and he is scared to cross his father.

I hope time will change things.

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