Witness hell

by sass_my_frass 2 Replies latest jw friends

  • sass_my_frass

    I just had a disturbingly spiteful thought... that IfTheresAGod actually does send people to hell, and JWs have this special place in it that looks exactly like the Paradise they describe. As new people end up there they welcome them with joy. They wonder why nobody who was alive when they died is there, and there seem to be a lot of the type they used to avoid for rumours of their being a wife basher or pederast, but it's Jehovahs' Will and he wouldn't let them go on being unhappy, so they keep growing their pumpkins and going to three boring meetings a week. Every few decades Satan wanders around and they throw rocks at him and tell him 'just you wait for the end of the thousand year reign'.

    Over the centuries the 'resurrections' slow and cease as WBTS ceases to exist on earth. They don't actually grow younger so they assume it will happen 'after the reign'. That comes and goes, their lives get increasingly tedious, as the earth really doesn't seem as big as it used to, and there's nothing new to see anywhere, and the sewerage is building up as nobody worked out how to keep it buried and their weak old bodies can't do any heavy lifting. And they could swear that fifteen or twenty thousand years ago it was a lot easier to get out of bed in the mornings. Every few thousand years a new chief elder arises, calling the old one an apostate and banishing them to Utah. A bazillion years into it Satan decides the joke's been overcooked and announces that yes, they are actually in hell, and that this is it forever, unless they want to go someplace a little more humid...

    This is a perfect kind of custom-built torture. Religion must be a constant source of inspiration for those guys.

  • nicolaou

    wow! cool!

  • Clam

    "The mind is its own place, and in itself
    Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heaven"
    Satan, in Milton's Paradise Lost

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