PROPHETS: go on the record/JW secret meeting

by lisaBObeesa 9 Replies latest jw friends

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  lisaBObeesa

  ALL PROPHETS: here is your chance to go on the record and tell us all what you think this special, JW-only meeting in Sept is going to be about. Then, after the fact, when we know what it was about, YOU will get all the glory due a TRUE PROPHET. All those who were wrong, well, you will taunted and laughed at by the other PROPHETS. (I do believe this is the Biblical punishment for false prophets...)

  Ok, here is my prophecy:
  I, the Prophetess Bobeesa, do see the FUTURE! The secret meeting will tell the JWs that Satan, in the form of Dateline, is attacking the Org. They will explain that the Org handles pedophile cases correctly..blah blah blah…..and that the World is being deceived by Satan(Dateline), based on a few isolated cases. (Oh, and they will be sorry about those cases, but will have done the best they could, but they are, after all, only imperfect humans, and that the imperfect Elders in the congs in question are really to blame anyway.) They will say that Dateline is twisting the truth. (Or bending the truth, or words to that affect.). They will tell the JWs what to think and what to say when someone brings up the Pedophile issue. Dateline, and everyone connected with it, will have their character’s assassinated, and will be equated with the devil, or with demons, or whatever. (The Prophetess Bobeesa isn’t so sure about this last one, but is reasonably sure that it is a good bet, if not a real prophesy.)

  But wait! There’s more! The Prophetess Bobeesa sees the Org saying, ‘Satan is attacking the Org, and this proves we are the true religion and that we are in the last days!’ The Prophetess sees much clapping, much excitement and much ‘girding of loins’, whatever that means. Following the secret meeting, Bobeesa sees monthly service hours going through the roof as JWs go out to defend the Org.

  Small print:
  The Prophetess Bobeesa is on the record. The Prophetess Bobeesa does not claim that this is the entire content of the secret meeting and that there may be much more, such as organizational changes, etc, that she did not ‘see’ at this time. Perhaps 'light will flash up', and Bobeesa will post more.

  If the Prophetess Bobeesa is wrong, that will be because she changed her mind, not because she was actually wrong, and taunting will not be tolerated!
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  Naeblis

  I think they're going to adopt a purple pants policy for all men. This will be strictly enforced. All other colours are from the great deceiver.
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  D wiltshire

  I predict they will give each invited JW a copy of the New Scolls mentioned in Revelation.

  I'll defend your right to say it, but it doesn't mean I beleive it.
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  Stealth

  I predict that they will be holding a lottery (in the spiritual sense) to see who will be getting the best homes in each town after the big "A" comes in OCTOBER.

  You Know should get first picks though, since he was the one who uttered the October prophocey first (and the most times).
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  CornerStone

  I predict they will be UTTERLY CANDID about their failure to keep the congregations "clean", will fess up to Dateline about their failures, and will offer a whopping LIST of reforms to safeguard against future problems........

  .........if this comes true, I WILL be a prophet.

  CornerStone
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  Grunt

  I predict that it will be a big let down. They will probably encourage them to get out in service more. Having been a party to several of these world shaking messages that were going to be put out and set the earth on its ear only to find them bland as oatmeal, I don't expect much.
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  jayhawk1

  I predict all present will be bored to tears and afterward they will all say how incouraged they are.

  "Hand me that whiskey, I need to consult the spirit."-J.F. Rutherford
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  StifflersErSlayersBrother

  I predict all in attendance will get f*cked up and start prophecing what the meaning of shadows is. Afterwords theyll all say a prayer and sing Firm and Determined. The next few weeks in service will no longer be magazines they sell, but rather bags of weed and call it "Prophecy Wheat".

  Or maybe not....
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  TR

  The secret meeting will be non biblical, biblical propaganda as usual. Apostates will bring back the phrase; "they don't know shit from shinola" again, followed by the phrase; "they're so full of shit their eyes are brown", as a result of this secret meeting.

  Also, increasing numbers of JW's will drop the WTS like a burning sack of dog crap. But then, that's fairly predictable.

  How 'bout the Prophet You Know, what sayeth you, old seeker of misfortune?

  TR

  The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
  —Edmund Burke
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  Tina

  O Great Phrophetess Bobeesa!!
  I bow to you prescience! I think you're spot on Your Seerness!
  I eagerly await to see your prophecies borne out!
  Tina,Lighting Incense to the Great Bobeesa and putting on the sacred girdle and wonderbra.

  Carl Sagan on balancing openness to new ideas with skeptical scrutiny..."if you are open to the point of gullibility and have not an ounce of skeptical sense-you cannot distinguish useful ideas from worthless ones."