WTF? I sent in my DA letter a couple months ago and ....

by HockeyMullet 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • HockeyMullet

    ... nothing has been announced. Here's the deal. After moving from northern MN (congregation #1) to the Twin Cities I attended cong #2 for a couple of meetings and my records were supposedly transferred but I don't know for sure. After this I decided not to go back, but my wife then started to attend cong #3 that was closer to us. Our records may have been moved there but we dont know for sure. That's fine.

    So 5 years go by and after a lot of thought I decide to write my DA letter. To me, fading wasn't a good option. I want to wash my hands clean of this clusterf%#$ experience and have closure on my own terms. I am embarrassed and disappointed that I fell for this hook, line, and sinker. I abandoned family and close friends for the joveys. Thank goodness that my family was good about my holier than thou attitude I had, and put up with it. Anyway back on topic.

    Without knowing who has my "records", I sent a copy of the letter to all three congregations. One letter was returned unopened from cong #2. I used the address in the phone book, but I guess it was the wrong address, however I did state in the letter that I have sent a copy to each congregations naming each one. The letter was pretty nasty towards cong #1, and I stated that I did not want elders at my door or any other witness for that fact. Other joveys have told me or my wife that they havent heard of an anouncement of my da'ing. So I'm wondering if I should've sent it to the evil bastards in Brooklyn.

    I'm sorry if this makes no sense. I've had too much caffiene.

  • jgnat

    Publish it in the local paper and be done with them.

  • HockeyMullet

    I'm finally in an area that noone knows that I ever was associated with them. It's my dirty little secret.

  • inbyathread

    Don't concern yourself if a letter was returned. Many congregations have an address listed for fire protection purposes only. They do not have a mailbox in which to deliver mail. Mail for the congregation is either delivered to the PO's home or to another properly designated home of the elders choosing.

    Sending a letter is only (in my opinion) continuing to follow their rules. This is closure on their terms, not yours. They are not in control of your life so don't bother jumping through the hoops they have put in place.

    Congratulations on finding your way out.

  • HockeyMullet

    I hear ya. I guess I just want to go out swinging after all the crap that has happened.

  • jgnat

    Well, one of my management rules is, "once around and up". If you are ignored, go to the next level. I have my serious doubts that Brooklyn would move any faster than the local congregations. That's why I suggested the local paper. THAT would have gotten their attention and DA'd you right quick.

    BUT, if the local congregation has not announced you, AND your new friends don't know about your previous associations, have a little private hand-washing ceremony, shake the dust from your sandals and move on.

  • james_woods

    Dear friend HockeyMullet, for what it may be worth to you...

    I did the clean break thing years ago (circa 1980 in Oklahoma City). It was part of the big break when Ray Franz and the Dunlaps all left. There were approximately 35+ baptized JW individuals who left the "truth" within that year just in Oklahoma City and the area - all of us doing so over the same doctrinal issues.

    To my knowledge, only two or three from OKC were ever disfellowshipped or announced as disassociated. (incl. myself and Marion Dunlap). The others were just ignored as if nothing had happened - including my ex-wife and many of her relatives.

    Most of us (at least those who are all still in contact after all these years) think that the local elders avoided doing multiple announcements because they were afraid to make the falling away look too big! Better to just let people think that they just kind of drifted away...

    I have the feeling that a lot of people are leaving just like you have - (especially the young) - and it may not be in the org's best interest to call too much attention to it. You know you did the right thing, and it will be with you forever, if no one else.

    YF, James

  • blondie

    All 3 elder bodies are probably trying to sort it out as to who gets stuck with it. Every time they "lose" a member, it looks bad on their report to the head office.


  • unique1

    I sent my baptism nullification letter certified and it was picked up on valentines day over a month ago. I haven't heard anything from the elders (I included my phone number) either and no announcement has been made. I even found mags this week from the sister they assigned to call on me with a memorial invite so apparently they haven't given her a cease and desist notice either. The only thing I can think is one: they don't care, two: they are waiting for the CO visit. Take your pick. It sucks being in limbo, I feel your pain. We can merely close the book ourselves. If you feel a sense of closure just by sending the letter, then close that chapter yourself. Take your life back and quit stressing, it can give you a heart attack or an ulcer.

  • Finally-Free

    Maybe they want to keep you on their list as a way of inflating their statistics. We all know how important numbers are to them.

    You could always send a copy to every JW you know, but only if you feel they're worth the cost of postage.


Share this