Elders want to talk

by drew sagan 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • drew sagan
    drew sagan

    Well, the other day at the meeting and Elder approached me and aksed how I was doing. What he was doing was working his way into me to schedule a sheparding call. I've done my best to be ignored up untill this point (never have gotten a sheparding call, ever!) but now they think that i'm spiritually slipping because I don't comment and put out nothing in the way of service time. The funny thing is how much they DON'T know about me. I've been around them for quite some time, but they know nothing about who I am. All of my conversations with Elders have been under 2 minutes. I blew him off on Sunday and thankfully nothing got scheduled, but it will come eventually. I'll keep you guys posted.

  • TheListener

    Hey Drew. You might want to come up with a simple sentence that covers your bases. Something like "well, brother so-and-so I appreciate your thoughts. You're very kind. But, right now isn't a good time for something like that. I'll get back to you when I think it will work out. Again, thanks for you kindness. I really appreciate it."

    Good luck.

  • stillAwitness

    Interesting. Maybe the brothers get noticed quicker than the sisters do. I hardly ever comment but never got spoken to about it. Or perhaps you have done a complete 180 so fast. Anyways, just brush him off.

  • tall penguin
    tall penguin

    Before I disassociated last year, the PO of my congregation kept trying to set up a meeting with me through email. I told him I'd let him know when I was available. He kept sending me emails and persisting. I told him I felt I was being harassed and that I will be the one to let him know when I'm ready to chat. He backed off after that. My next and last correspondence with him was my disassociation letter.
    tall penguin

  • EAGLE-1

    By your avatar I bet you know exactly what to do.Saganize him.

  • daystar
    He kept sending me emails and persisting. I told him I felt I was being harassed and that I will be the one to let him know when I'm ready to chat.

    It's still so odd to me that these guys are so persistent when it comes to disciplinary actions, and yet are so apathetic when it comes to being involved in the lives of so many of the flock before such action is deemed necessary.

  • daniel-p

    StillA, you sisters have got it easy when it comes to keeping out of the elder's sights. As a servant or elder in the congregation, you soon learn to stay away from sisters in general and especially single ones, for various reasons. Its only the rare type of brother who can do the touchy-feely-huggy thing with the sisters, and talk to them ask them how they are doing, without fear of any reprisal. As a brother, you are expected to actively "reach out" - if you are not trying then something seems wrong with you. You must not be in good standing, have a bad attitude, be on reproof, etc. So it's a lot harder to stay away from the elders, you know, they always wanna do the manly thing, shake hands, nod heads, and shoot the shit in order to probe.

    Drew, I am in the EXACT same position as you. I haven't been commenting (wonder why?) and haven't turned time in for going on 3 months. My fall from grace was swift and alarming to them, and the PO approaches me every chance he can get. None of that fading away smoothly thing for me.... Everyone at the meeting thinks I am chronically ill or something so I'm constantly saying "No, I'm doing very good, thank you" to their inquiries. I am a private person so all this attention, while remotely flattering, is getting on my nerves. I can't just tell them "leave me the fuck alone, please"....

  • misspeaches

    Drew you could always try what worked for me. After not having attended a meeting for 2 years the body of elders conveniently noticed my absence from the kingdom hall when they found out I had a boyfriend. They rang me and asked if I would like to meet them. I politely thanked them for their interest and told them it wasn't necessary (I had to repeat this a few times) but eventually they got the message and I haven't heard from them since 12 months later!

  • drew sagan
    drew sagan

    Thanks for all the ideas.
    It's now been two meetings and there has been no further word from the elders. I actually don't think they care enough to keep buggin me. I guess I'm in a better posistion than most.

  • jstalin

    Just use some watchtower tactics on then. Next time he says that you haven't been contributing, just say, "what do you mean? i answered several questions tonight." Make him question himself :)

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