Satan & Miracles

by Satanus 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    According to the wt, satan has been doing the majority of the work for the last 1960 years or so. While jehover had been resting since the exertions of giving birth to creation, he manage to finish his book. Since god completed his last book, he has gone into virtual hibernation. Meanwhile, satan has been going all out on the hard work that jesus said his followers would do: healing people of all sorts of maladies, expelling demons, getting bitten by snakes with no ill effects, drinking poison with no ill effects, making mountains fly through the air?, ressurecting dead people, feeding the hungry, visiting people in jails, walking on water, levitating, and other powerful works in the name of jesus. The only work jehovah is able to accomplish is keeping the wt society going with the 6 million door to door salesforce. And that after 1700 years of practical failure to keep any of his own on this earthly ball. Comparing these two corporations: jehovahs and satans and their accomplishments, without prejudice, which has done more good?

    The wt states we don't need miracles since we have the complete bible. It seems that confusion has greatly increased since the completion of the book. True, the catholic church managed to keep some semblance of order for 1500 years or so, but, with the reformation all hell broke loose. If ever there was a need for miracles to demontrate god given authority, there is now. All the wt predictions have proven false. They desperately need to start up the miracle trade again. They could really decimate us apostates with their powerful works.

    This brings up some questions. Is satan really a spiritual christian and nobody knows? Did jesus trick him into becoming jesus' deputy? What has jehover been doing these last few thousand years? Why is the sky blue?

    S

  • Bibleboy
    Bibleboy

    Mark 16
    1 When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so that they might go to anoint Jesus' body.

    2 Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb

    3 and they asked each other, "Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?"

    4 But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away.

    5 As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.

    6 "Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him.

    7 But go, tell his disciples and Peter, `He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.'"

    8 Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid.

    9 When Jesus rose early on the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had driven seven demons.

    10 She went and told those who had been with him and who were mourning and weeping.

    11 When they heard that Jesus was alive and that she had seen him, they did not believe it.

    12 Afterward Jesus appeared in a different form to two of them while they were walking in the country.

    13 These returned and reported it to the rest; but they did not believe them either.

    14 Later Jesus appeared to the Eleven as they were eating; he rebuked them for their lack of faith and their stubborn refusal to believe those who had seen him after he had risen.

    15 He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.

    16 Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.

    17 And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues;

    18 they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well."

    19 After the Lord Jesus had spoken to them, he was taken up into heaven and he sat at the right hand of God.

    20 Then the disciples went out and preached everywhere, and the Lord worked with them and confirmed his word by the signs that accompanied
    it.

  • jayhawk1
    jayhawk1

    SaintSatan, (I like the name)

    They desperately need to start up the miracle trade again.


    Perhaps they can start selling C.T. Russell's Miracle Wheat again.

    "Hand me that whiskey, I need to consult the spirit."-J.F. Rutherford

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    JH

    Other than miracle wheat, which ended up being just ordinary, is there anything else the wt has done that they claimed was miraculous? Just wondering.

    S

  • Moxy
    Moxy

    good question. sure, there are lots of things. typewriters disappear when guards come on suprise searches. people die of heart attacks when they threaten the org. tracts and magazines show up in the weirdest places exactly when people are searching for the truth. ah, but nobody says those are miracles for sure. they only COULD be. yeah? well, try saying there just coincidences and see how many congregation picnics you get invited to then.

    mox

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Moxy

    So the wt suggested these events could be miracles without coming right out and declaring so. This is probably how a lawyer would do miracles: with deniability, an escape clause and no liabilty if things got worse. Is jehover a lawyer too? bwwwaaaa haaaa haaaa! Can you picture jesus doing this kind of penny-ante stuff?? haaaa haaaa
    whew rolling on floor

    S

  • DCs Ghost
    DCs Ghost

    on miracles. . .
    can't forget the tall "men" who protect the sisters when they go door to door. . . . .

    satan is the best friend the church has ever had, for he has kept them in business for all these years. . . . .

    peace
    dc

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