Life Update: Our Wedding and a JW Funeral

by Victorian sky 11 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Victorian sky
    Victorian sky

    Hi everyone! It's been a while, hope all is well. Lot's of family drama on my end, it's a bit long, please bear with me. On a happy note - primitive genius and I met on this forum, fell in love and got married! We just celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary. Here's something ironic: We planned a small non-denominational wedding. Well that didn't go over well with our JW family at all. (His dad and my uncle are both the p.o's of their cong) Even though we'd both been inactive for months my uncle insisted on giving us marriage counseling from the family book and wanted to do our wedding talk. We were like, gee, thanks but hell no! Now, my uncle was so popular that couples begged him to do their talks, he was booked for months in advance. Well we had zero interest in a JW wedding and it pissed him off. So he offered again, we refused, he insisted. He went so far as to pressuring my mom into guilting us into it. He was a cancer survivor at the time and told mom we'd be granting his dying wish! Now, for years he treated my aunt like crap but he could give the best talks on marriage. We're not hypocrites so the answer was still, thanks but no. We wondered why the p.o of a cong would insist on marrying 2 people 'not in good standing'? Of course, for how it would look to the 'friends'. Forget about us. He told me angrily that everything I do reflects on him. It was all about his position and reputation. So we had our candlelit non denominational ceremony. Another irony, my aunt and uncle came late on purpose to treat us like a 'wordly' couple and planned to attend the reception only but I was late getting there so they got the ceremony too complete with unity candle and a prayer by the justice of the peace! When the video camera pans the guests - the few JW 'friends' we invited whispered and glared at the JP during the prayer. It saddens and amazes me that we were once that judgmental. Imagine the arrogance to think that only JW prayers count? Regardless, we had a great time and we even had a toast. Come to find out, the JWs thought I was pregnant at my wedding (again, their arrogance, thinking that only they live up to moral biblical principals - we didn't do the deed until our wedding night) They also predicted we wouldn't last - here we are 2 years later and happy and they're still trying to figure out how and why.

    Now, 2 years after our wedding, same uncle elder dies and we attend his funeral. It was held in the assembly hall - 600 attended. (my aunt proudly told us they had to get the permission of the society to have the talk there) We never wanted to step foot in a hall again but we did it for family in their time of need. So after 3 years of refreshing Christian freedom we got to hear 600 JWs sing 'life without end at last' and hear a talk about their dotrinal belief about the dead. It was a nightmare, really oppressive but we prayed and God saw us through. Okay, I did rebel, I wore dress pants in the hall, it was so liberating not to wear a frumpy skirt or dress down to my ankles. Some interesting observations: I knew most of the people in attendance for about 20 years. Even though I'm not d'fd or d'ad many made eye contact and quickly looked away, keep in mind we're at a funeral for my relative and they have nothing to say to me. A few gave me hugs and returned my greetings. Strangely enough, not one JW said to me or my 'wordly' family - we're sorry for your loss - only the JW family members got that. What do they think? We don't grieve as they do? They have to be the coldest group of people on the planet. After the funeral talk, the p.o. of my last cong. comes up to me, get's in my face, very fanatical and says 'don't forget what you were taught, don't forget.' Primitive just glared at him and led me away. Had another JW say, 'I hear you're not in the truth anymore.' I said, 'We're no longer Witnesses if that's what you mean but we're here to support my aunt in her time of grief.' That shut her up. Overall, we got puzzled looks. We're not crack addicts, alcoholics, demon possessed or divorced - we're happily married without their precious org - how is it we've survived without the gb to feed us? We're Chrisitians now. At our church we're part of a ministry that educates Christians about JW dotrine, how to witness to JWs and also an outreach to help JWs cope with the issues of leaving. We're an unconditional support system for them. We haven't lost our families - yet. Mine all talk to me even though they know I go to church. Primitive's family suspect we go to church but they're too afraid to ask. They also talk to us. We don't hide who we are but we don't rub it in their face either. We're just happy and the JWs can't figure out why or how. Anyway, I want to thank everyone on this board for helping both of us heal after leaving the so called truth. And we're grateful for the forum since we have a unique stroy to tell our grandkids about how we met. - Love, Vsky

  • jgnat

    What a beautiful story, thank you.

  • MsShockJock

    Awesome experience. Thanks for sharing.

    The scripture comes to mind, " their fruits you will recognize them".... true Christians, that is.

  • InquiryMan

    It was a very interesting story. It is possible to go on without the WT frame being present in one’s life. It is liberating to be outside that box.

  • gespro

    I'm so happy for you two!

    You are able to deal with the jws on your own terms and not theirs and not allowing them to shame you.

  • LDH

    Thank for taking the time to share that with all of us.

    I'm very happy for you-2 years! To hear JWs talk, that's an eternity for worldly people. LOL!

    And I'm also sorry about your uncle, even if he was a stubborn knothead JW.


  • Jez

    Thank you for sharing that story. Very appreciated.


  • outoftheorg

    What an encouraging happy out come, from leaving the jw cult and living now in the real honest caring world.

    Quite contrary to what the jw's are led to believe and teach others.

    Your example if nothing more, is bound to confuse and maybe make some jw's rethink their way of life and how they treat others.


  • anewme

    Congratulations Victorian Sky on your second anniversary.

    Thanks for sharing your story of the funeral at the assembly hall.

    You know, from the many stories I've read here about dfd, da'd persons attending JW funerals, it does not seem worth it to attend.

    You are viewed as trash. Painful but true. I had thought I should attend when my ex dies. But I think I'll pass.

    Gone forever I guess,


  • lisavegas420

    How beautiful....thank you for sharing.

    Congradulations to both of you.


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