I Don't care - I got my Plastic Jesus

by unclebruce 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • unclebruce
    unclebruce

    Remmember the other day when I made a Jesus in my own image.

    Well imagine my joy today when the box finally arrived - my plastic Jesus is here and now my spiritual journey is complete. (only $7.50Aus on ebay). Praise the Lord, I'm so f'n full of my new friend I feel like singing along with Paul Newman:

    Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes
    Long as I have my plastic Jesus
    Riding on the dashboard of my car
    I could go a hundred miles an hour
    Long as I got the almighty power
    Glued up there with my pair of fuzzy dice

    Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
    Riding on the dashboard of my car
    Through all trials and tribulations
    We will travel every nation
    With my plastic Jesus I'll go far

    I don't care if it rains or snowses
    Long as I got my plastic Moses
    Riding on the dashboard of my car
    Through all trials and tribulations
    We will travel every nation
    Me and plastic Moses will go far

    I don't care if it rains or freezes
    As long as I've got my plastic Jesus
    Glued to the dashboard of my car
    You can buy Him phosphorescent
    Glows in the dark, He's pink and pleasant
    Take Him with you when you're travelling far

    I don't care if it's dark or scary
    Long as I have magnetic Mary
    Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
    I feel I'm protected amply
    I've got the whole damn holy family
    Riding on the dashboard of my car

    I don't care what they say, I'm gonna
    Keep on prayin' to that pink Madonna
    Melted to the dashboard of my car
    Goin' ninety, I'm not wary
    'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary
    Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell

    I don't care if it bumps or jostles
    Long as I got the twelve apostles
    Bolted to the dashboard of my car
    Don't I have a pious mess
    Such a crowd of holiness
    Strung across the dashboard of my car

    http://www.immortalia.com/html/records-and-cds/CDs/various-artists/cool-hand-luke/plastic-jesus.htm

  • slugga
    slugga

    Now you just need the plastic moses and mohammed to go with it to collect the set

  • unclebruce
    unclebruce

    Moses Hates You Slugga!

  • Frog
    Frog

    This is probably poor tast, but I've just gotta say it!...You may want to steer clear of depictions of the prophet mohammed, it'd be an understatement to say that's put a number of folk in hot water lately...x

    enjoy your new jebus

  • Elsewhere
  • Frog
    Frog

    jebus really got his cool back in that last one else ;)

  • RichieRich
    RichieRich

    oh, heresy

  • Clam
    Clam

    Unclebruce, LOL. Your plastic jesus looks more like the Pakistani cricket captain Inzamam Ul Haq.

    Why can't the Watchtower start giving away a monthly plastic GB member?

    "Collect the whole Board and be the envy of your Witness friends"

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu


    Wooden Jesus - Great White

    Down the road in my car

    A wooden Jesus on my dashboard

    Go to work to stay alive

    I'm just a sinner tryin' to survive

    Yeah we commit all those deadly sins

    But I don't worry 'cause I got my friend

    I got my wooden Jesus in my car

    He's always with me, never too far

    Yeah my wooden Jesus forgives me

    I'm a sinner that's why I believe

    In my wooden Jesus

    Wake up in the mornin' sun

    On my dresser got another one

    Say a prayer to start my day

    Maybe the big man will show me the way

    A money maker down in east L.A.

    Stampin' 'em out, ten thousand a day

    I got a wooden Jesus in my car

    He's always with me, never too far

    Yeah my wooden Jesus he's my friend

    I've been a lion layin' down with the lamb

    I got my friend, got my soul

    Why he forgives me, God only knows

    'Cause he's a wooden Jesus

    Wooden Jesus yeah, wooden Jesus, oh yeah

    Oh Lordy take me on away from here

    Take me down the road to salvation

    Help me Jesus, try to find my way

    Send me a revelation

    I gotta wooden Jesus in my car

    Got him stittin' on my dashboard

    Wooden Jesus shows the way

    He keeps me ready for that judgement day

    He's my wooden Jesus forgivin' me

    I need a savior, so I try to believe

    In my wooden Jesus doesn't mind

    He always loves me

    He's my kind of wooden Jesus

    Wooden Jesus yeah, wooden Jesus

    Ten thousand, maybe more

    Wrapped with string on a cheap old board

    Cast iron believe me

    $5.95 will buy your reprieve

    Wooden Jesus yeah

    He's my friend

    Show me the way

    Keep me ready for that judgement day

    Wooden Jesus

  • slugga
    slugga

    actually he looks like a grey hair version of you in your bushman gear

    LOL

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit