True Laws

by target 1 Replies latest social humour

  • target

    Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

    Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

    Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

    Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

    Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

    Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)

    Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

    Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone with whom you don't want to be seen.

    Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

    Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

    Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

    Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

    Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

    Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

    Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

    Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

    Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

    Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

    Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

  • misanthropic

    All so very true. I would have hilighted my favorite but there were too many of them.

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