You must laugh, even if you've heard them before!
25 Phrases Of Wisdom
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more
than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one
you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that
life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite
10. If you look like your passport picture, you
probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed
12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other
parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal
15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and
narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw
away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to
recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast
to the real world.
25. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for
they shall never cease to be amused
LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES
1) That's not right.= Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive?= Hu Yu Hai Ding?
3) See me ASAP.= Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man= Dum Gai
5) Small Horse =Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach? =Wai Yu So Tan?
7) I bumped into a coffee table=Ai Bang Mai N
8) I think you need a face lift.= Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here. =Wai So Dim?
10) I thought you were on a diet.= Wai Yu Mun Ching?
11) This is a tow away zone. =No Pah King
12) Our meeting's not 'till next week. =Wai Yu Kum Nao?
13) Staying out of sight.= Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile. =Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive. =Yu Stin Ki P