DRIVING IN Dallas
When you are the first one on the starting line,
count to five when the light turns green before
going to avoid crashing with
all the drivers running the red light in
cross-traffic. Construction on Central Expressway is a way of life
and a permanent form of
We had sooo much fun with that we have added George
Bush Freeway and the
High Five to the mix.
All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase,
"Oh, we're in !"
If someone actually has his or her turn signal on,
it is probably a factory defect.
Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators.
Plano Road, go about 8 miles and it is briefly
Greenville Ave,Ave K, and
It ends in Sherman .
The North Dallas Toll-Way is our daily version of
The minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North
Toll Road is 85.
Anything less is considered downright sissy.
It also ends in Sherman.
If asking directions in or , you
must have knowledge of
If in central or on Harry Hines, Mandarin
Chinese will be your
If you stop to ask directions on Gaston or Live Oak,
you better be armed...
and remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas.
The wrought iron on windows near Oak Cliff and is not ornamental!!
A trip across town east to west will take a minimum
of four hours,
although many north/south freeways have un-posted
minimum speeds of 75.
It is possible to be driving WEST in the NORTH-bound
lane of East NW Highway.
Don't let this confuse you.
LBJ is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons:
If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next
If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Fort
Worth Stock Show is going
If It has rained 6 inches in the last hour, the
Byron Nelson Golf Classic is
in the second round (if it's Spring)
and it is the Texas State Fair if it's Fall.
If you go to the Fair, pay the $8.00 to park .
Parking elsewhere could cost up to $2500 for
damages, towing fees, parking
If some guy with a flag tries to get you to park in
his yard, run over him.
Any amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, racetracks,
airports, etc. are
conveniently located as far away from EVERYTHING as
possible so as to allow
for ample parking on grassy areas.
Don't Mess With Texas Drivers ... remember,
it's legal to be armed in Texas !