you don't believe in god... ever find yourself praying?
This is an excellent question!
For those raised in the witness faith, prayer was the answer to all problems, at least according to the elders. We had that hammered into our minds from ‘infancy’ and it is an ingrained habit based upon fear and frustration rather than logic.
I do not believe in god. However, I do find myself at times tempted to pray. This is a big warning sign to myself that things are out of control, and I’d better examine my health, finances, relationships etc., and find a real life solution to the root causes of my unhappiness.
Witnesses are not trained to find real life solutions to problems and challenges, because they are taught that either god will fix it if they pray and attend meetings and send money, or that god will fix it after he murders 99.999% of the human population and establishes a paradise. It is terrifying to accept responsibility for your own life at first. You’ve had this safety net all your life, i.e. ‘god’ will take care of you.
Horrifying! Me in control of my own life? How will I do it myself if god couldn’t make it better?
My life was always in my hands. God never made it better or worse. My own decisions got me into the shape I’m in, so I’d better figure out a way to make it better.
Crappy marriage? Pick a better man/woman or work on your own contributions to the marriage!
Poor job? Stop waiting around on ‘jehovahs paradise’ and go get an education that makes you worth more money!
No time to yourself? Why? Did you never learn to say ‘no’ to people, and treat yourself well? Most witnesses I know do not know how to spend a little money or time on themselves without bundles of guilt hitting them. (Heaven forbid you miss the weekend field service and meeting to take your family skiing or whatever. It is not okay to spend time on yourself, you lazy no-good! rolls eyes)
Get over it! Lose the guilt and live your life! It’s beautiful… but I’d be willing to bet that most people sleepwalk through it. They never take the time for them to go and do the things that they want to do, while they are young enough to enjoy them!
Take responsibility for your own happiness and stop relying on an imaginary safety net to make things better!