I wrote a letter because I wanted them to know for sure that I did not consider myself to be and did not want to be known as a JW since they were refusing to answer my questions.
Another question about JW
Slugga, forgive yourself. Becoming a JW you become a follower. You squelch your own mind and desires and conscience in order to do the will of the org. You do this long enough and you no longer have a mind and conscience of your own.
Right before I was dfd I went to a therapist who was alarmed at how "enmeshed" my mind was with not only the Watchtower org, but that of my husband's will.
The full time job of one who is freed from the Watchtower org is to find again one's own mind, heart, beliefs, what one stands for, what one will NOT stand for (in the case of desecration of sacred places)
I remember holding only the society's views on everything. If I didnt read it in the Watchtower I had no opinion on it!
Imagine the effects of this brainwashing for 35 years?
We all need to be kind to ourselves and show self empathy as we realize just what we have been through----
hi everyone this subject is so interesting because it actually was one of the first "doubts" i had when i was a kid in the sixties. whenever we had someone visit our congregation from the west coast i immediately noticed they didn't do things like hair length and skirt length, etc. like we did. they were always ALOT more liberal and we were always told that part of being in the "truth" was being exactly alike. the folks i saw would have gotten called to a commitee meeting for the short shirts they wore! i think that is part of why the person from the UK is having difficulty understanding what we have experienced here, especially in the sixties and seventies in the US.
I felt no obligation to write a letter but I did so for my own convenience, and I sent it by registered mail. In my letter I warned them of possible legal action if they continued to harass me or trespass on my property. My copy of the letter and the receipt from the post office serves as evidence that they have been warned to stay the f*ck away from me.
Hi tassie, welcome to the forum!
hey thanks!!! i am so glad i found you guys! i don't feel so alone anymore. anyone live near me? i am in northern NC
Although I wrote all of my friends and family, I didn't write the elders when I first left because I wasn't sure yet what I wanted and I didn't want anything *FINAL.*
Then my sister announced she was getting married, and for one reason or another, no one in the family was going to go. Even though I no longer believed and didn't want to be a Witness at this point, I held off writing any letters so that I could go to my sister's wedding and she would have someone there for her.
After getting back from her wedding, I immediately wrote a letter of disassociation, because being around witnesses after getting out was most traumatic, but before I could revise it and type it up, I got an email. The name on the email was an elder's wife's name, but when I opened it up, it was the Service Overseer writing me. He told me I had 2 choices: accept counsel or disassociate myself.
I was royally pissed off, and then I refused to send a letter. Why was he trying to "trick" me into opening an email? And who was he to make demands?? So I didn't do anything.
Somehow they found out I was pregnant A YEAR AFTER I CEASED HAVING CONTACT WITH ANY OF THEM, and they disfellowshipped me. I'm not sure how they did this according to their rules, because they never contacted me about it--I found out fourth hand.
As a non-JW, I have wondered about this as well. To my mind, anyone should be able to walk away from this or any organization at any time, unless they are somehow legally bound. To me, this seems like the mind control holding you there unless you "write the letter" and this is just a way for them to keep tabs on you. Am I understanding this correctly, in that if you "write the letter," then you can walk away without people officially shunning you? But if you don't, you'll be shunned? It seems like the same kind of hold that spousal abusers have over the abused spouse--it isn't really real, but the abused person thinks it is and so they stay. Or they leave and go back, because of that psychological hold. To those of us who have not been in these types of "mind control" situations, it really doesn't make any sense that JW's must or must not do anything.