Some of these comments from the GB are hilarious!!!
FROM MORNING WORSHIP...
"...I especially liked your comment about the Society, that it's an organization on the move...and today being the day the Governing Body meets,...I hope they keep that point in mind." -D Sydlik
"Well, you asked a question, but you didn't answer it...maybe the next brother will answer it for us.
9/6/00 It's no accident!
"Vehicle collisions and crashes are not accidents -L. Schilling (special safe driving program)
8/30/00 Bethel 'Keeps Account'?
"The Apostle Paul used an accounting term to emphasize this fact...'Love does not keep account of the injury'...well...here at Bethel we have a whole department that keeps account...of our injuries. It's called Risk Management." -G Losch
8/4/00 124 No More
A panoramic view of the last morning worship program from 124 dining room -P. Wilcox
7/19/00 Bethel Elders Overtime?
"These Circuit Overseers always end on time...I'm not used to that." -D. Sydlik
7/18/00 Other (late) Sheep?
"So, I think of John 10:16 this morning, where it says, "I have other sheep which are not of this fold"...when I see all these brothers walking in late.
(after John Foster read Joshua chapter 12; "King of Jericho...One...King of Ai...One......One")
"John Foster...One" -D. Sydlik
7/5/00 Holy Hearts?
"We want to have a whole heart...(punch-out hole)...not a hole in our heart." -French C.O.
7/4/00 Day Star Rising?
Brother Russel bid Godspeed to the new venture. But did the Day Star magazine have Jehovah's blessing? "Well, have you seen a copy of it lately?" I don't think so. -D Splane
5/24/00 Freak of Nature?
"Jehovah didn't take Eve from part of Adam's head or from his big toe. He took Eve from Adam's side and that's where a wife should be, at a man's side as a compliment and helper. She shouldn't be a competing head...like some sort of freak of nature! Two-headed things don't live long..." -Branch Ovsr
5/23/00 There's always the resurrection!
"Just a few minutes ago I was telling Brother Barber how bad I feel...He told me that there's always the resurrection...I would like to thank Brother Barber for his encouraging words." -S. Herd
3/31/00 Where's the Books?
"The ransom...and now I've been asked to discuss a certain problem we've been experiencing...in our 15 Bethel libraries...after the 107 library was returned to Towers, over 15 books were returned to the empty shelves in 107...magazines have been taken but the yellow card which clearly says 'not to be taken from Bethel libraries' was taken off and left behind...books from Brooklyn have been found in the Patterson library...one book was returned by a brother who left bethel months ago..." -J Eames
3/27/00 Who wants a raise?
"The bethel allowance is being increased to $100. The PEA is being increased by $10 per month."
"The scenes with wild animals were done in a controlled environment." -K Flodin
"Say what you will about sign language...I still like human voices." -D Sydlik
"Now we have a special announcement to be given by a special brother...to a special family. (after announcement) Well...maybe you all should think about selling your cars now. So...thank you Brother Couch for that announcement...it was given with sincerity and all the love in your heart. Yes...time and unforeseen occurrences befall us all...and...especially to those with cars." -L. Swingle
"Now we'll have Brother Hash-ee-moo-rah say the prayer...oh...what's wrong...OH, I JUST GOT KICKED BY MY WIFE UNDER THE TABLE...let's have the text comments read first!" -C. Barber
"I don't know what the joke is, but let's have the text read."
-C. Barber (in reference to all the laughing in the dining rooms...at the blue faces on TV)
"When is the last time you talked to your tongue?" -E. Rosam
"Well, the text reader didn't show up so I guess I'll have to read it...oh...wait a minute, here he is."
"...we don't have time to talk in the morning at breakfast..." -G. M. Couch
"It's good to be here on Monday,...it happens about once a week." -L. Swingle
"What does an insignificant tea bag have to do with faith?" -J. Lopes
also...No more guests for fireworks roof parties. -Letter from Governing Body
(After a report from a member of the Guadeloupe Branch Committee): "It's good to know that not everyone who speaks French are fighting against Jehovah." -C. Barber
"A lot of people enjoy the convention. They clap and have a wild time. Two weeks later they've forgotten all about it." -C. Barber
"Well, someone just whispered in my ear that we have the Watchtower tonight....Well, I think we all know by now when the Watchtower Study is, and I think you can find out which issue it is by checking the inside schedule yourself." -L. Swingle
(Discussing the Roanoke, VA, and Denver, CO conventions that he attended, in which the hallways were reportedly clear of the usual Singles Dating scene): "Frankly, you could have shot a cannon down the corridor and not hit anyone." -D. Sydlik
"When is the last time you started a fire?" -
"Can't blame him (Pope) for trying to make an honest buck." -C. Barber