Australian Citizenship Test

by misspeaches 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • misspeaches

    If you would like to immigrate to Australia keep in mind that you will have to pass the Australian Citizenship Test. In light of this matter I have most graciously provided the questions on the test so you can be prepared in advance.

    Please supply your answers to the following questions:

    How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Falcon Ute while also allowing room for your cattle dog?

    When packing an Esky, do you put the ice or the beer in first?

    Is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner:
    a) At least two roasted meats with roast vegetables, followed by a pudding you could use as a cannonball. Also ham. In 40C heat.
    b) A seafood buffet followed by a barbie, with rather a lot of booze. And ham. In 40C heat.
    c) Both of the above, one at lunchtime and one at dinnertime. Weather continues fine.

    How many beers in a slab?

    Does "yeah-nah" mean "Yes and no" or "Maybe" or "Yes I understand but no I don't agree"?

    The phrases "strewth" and "flamin' dingo" can be attributed to which TV character?
    a) Toadie from Neighbours
    b) Alf from Home & Away
    c) Agro from Agro's Cartoon Connection
    d) Sgt. Tom Croydon from Blue Heelers

    When cooking a barbecue do you turn the sausages:
    a) Once or twice
    b) As often as necessary to cook
    c) After each stubby
    d) Until charcoal?

    Name three of the Daddo brothers.

    Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC?

    Which option describes your ideal summer afternoon:
    a) Drinking beer a mate's place
    b) Drinking beer at the beach
    c) Drinking beer watching the cricket/footy
    d) Drinking beer at a mate's place while watching the cricket before going to the beach?

    Would you eat pineapple on pizza?

    Would you eat egg on a pizza?

    How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from Australia to England?

    How many stubbies is it from Brissy to the Gold Coast in a Torana travelling at 120km/h?

    Who are Scott and Charlene?

    How do you apply your tomato sauce to a pie?
    a) Squirt and spread with finger
    b) Sauce injection straight into the middle?

    If the police raided your home would you:
    a) Allow them to rummage through your personal items
    b) Phone up the nearest talkback radio shock jock and complain
    c) Put a written complaint in to John Howard and hope that he answers it personally?

    Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a yardie full of beer the fastest?

    Have you ever had/do you have a mullet?

    Thongs are:
    a) Skimpy underwear
    b) Casual footwear
    c) They're called jandals, bro?

    On which Ashes tour did Warney's hair look the best?
    a) 1993
    c) 2001 or
    d 2005?

    What is someone is more likely to die of.
    1) Red Back Spider
    2) Great White Shark
    3) Victorian Police Officer
    4) King Brown Snake
    5) Your missus after a big night
    6) Dropbear?

    How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner barbie?

    Can you sing along to Cold Chisel's Khe Sahn?

    Explain both the "follow-on" and "LBW" rules in cricket and discuss the pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter....

    Name at least 5 items that must be taken to a BBQ.

    Who is current Australian test cricket captain:
    a) Ricky Ponting
    b) Don Bradman
    c) John Howard
    d) Makybe Diva?

    Is it best to take a sick day on:
    a) When the cricket's on?
    b) When the cricket's on?
    c) When the cricket's on?

    What animal is on the Bundaberg Rum bottle?

    What is the difference between a pot and a middy of beer?

    What are Budgie smugglers?

    Did you cry when Molly died on a Country Practice?

    A "Hoppoate" is:
    a) A breed of kangaroo
    b) A kind of Australian "wedgie"
    c) A disgraced Rugby League player?

    What does having a 'chunder' mean?

    When you were young did you prefer the Hills Hoist over any swing set?

    What do the following terms mean:
    a) Mate?
    b) Maate?
    c) Maaaaaaate?

    Best Aussie name is what?
    a) Cheryl
    b) Charlene
    c) Bazza
    d) Thommo
    e) Shazza

    What does the terminology 'True Blue' mean?

  • stillajwexelder

    well can we have the answer

  • IP_SEC
    Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC?

    All hail brian johnso... ooops, Bon Scott

  • IP_SEC

    I left my heart to the sappers round Khe Sanh
    And my soul was sold with my cigarettes to the blackmarket man
    I've had the Vietnam cold turkey
    From the ocean to the Silver City
    And it's only other vets could understand

    About the long forgotten dockside guarantees
    How there were no V-dayheroes in 1973
    How we sailed into Sydney Harbour
    Saw an old friend but couldn't kiss her
    She was lined, and I was home to the lucky land

    And she was like so many more from that time on
    Their lives were all so empty, till they found their chosen one
    And their legs were often open
    But their minds were always closed
    And their hearts were held in fast suburban chains
    And the legal pads were yellow, hours long, paypacket lean
    And the telex writers clattered where the gunships once had been
    But the car parks made me jumpy
    And I never stopped the dreams
    Or the growing need for speed and novacaine

    So I worked across the country end to end
    Tried to find a place to settle down, where my mixed up life could mend
    Held a job on an oil-rig
    Flying choppers when I could
    But the nightlife nearly drove me round the bend

    And I've travelled round the world from year to year
    And each one found me aimless, one more year the more for wear
    And I've been back to South East Asia
    But the answer sure ain't there
    But I'm drifting north, to check things out again

    You know the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
    Only seven flying hours, and I'll be landing in Hong Kong
    There ain't nothing like the kisses
    From a jaded Chinese princess
    I'm gonna hit some Hong Kong mattress all night long

    Well the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
    Yeah the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
    And it's really got me worried
    I'm goin' nowhere and I'm in a hurry
    And the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
  • IP_SEC
    What is someone is more likely to die of

    Funnel web, my worst fear of all time.

  • deeskis

    Peaches that's a classic, although I'm not an Aussie citizen, I know most of the answers......yeah-nah.

    where did you get it from I want to use it in programme of the Aussie themed variety show I'm helping produce next month.


  • misspeaches

    No Stilla! You have to use that brain of yours and work it you banana!

  • misspeaches

    psst... ipsec try answers 3, 5 or 6... any of these would be correct...

  • misspeaches

    Hey Deeksis I got it from an e-mail forward. So I think you can use it as much as you want.

    How exciting your producing a variety show? That's fantastic... Whats it called? My friend is currently working on the biggest loser and loves it! You must tell me which show it is so I can watch for it and say ha! that's from me! (It will be my claim to fame.)

  • deeskis

    It's a local performing group in our town. We do a show every year and raise money for local charities. 8 performances. The theme this year is "Great Southern Land" Opening night 17th March!

    there's some fantastic songs in it, we try to mix songs to appeal to all ages, inject some huma, and have great costumes, and a mix of dance styles. There's about 30 in the cast ranging in age from 15 to late 60,s. We have so much fun doing it, and usually raise around $30,000 each year.

    Talk your bf into a weekend on the coast and come see us!

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