I've been thinking a lot about this, watching the news, noticing the problems in communication during interviews.
I have a friend who is a Muslim and we try to explain to each other our cultural and religious differences. There is a language barrier in addition to the aforementioned challenges, but we are still friends who respect and care about each other.
I also have an acupuncturist whose wife is a JW and he gets as frustrated trying to reason with her as I do with my mom. So I told him I would print off a copy of "Why Bad Beliefs Don't Die" for him, to help lessen his frustration through increased understanding of where she is "coming from."
As I was copying this article for him these are the paragraphs that made it all "click" for me in regard to the riots:
Third, and perhaps most important, skeptics must always appreciate how hard it is for people to have their beliefs challenged. It is, quite literally, a threat to their brain's sense of survival. It is entirely normal for people to be defensive in such situations. The brain feels it is fighting for its life. It is unfortunate that this can produce behavior that is provocative, hostile, and even vicious, but it is understandable as well.
The lesson for skeptics is to understand that people are generally not intending to be mean, contrary, harsh, or stupid when they are challenged. It's a fight for survival. The only effective way to deal with this type of defensiveness is to de-escalate the fighting rather than inflame it. Becoming sarcastic or demeaning simply gives the other person's defenses a foothold to engage in a tit-for-tat exchange that justifies their feelings of being threatened ("Of course we fight the skeptics-look what uncaring, hostile jerks they are!") rather than a continued focus on the truth.
The muslims who are rioting feel that their survival is genuinely being threatened. As irrational as it may seem to us to feel threatened by cartoons, that doesn't make the perceived threat any less real to them.
And the cartoonists themselves? They drew what they did because they were feeling their survival was threatened--their survival as free-thinking, free-speaking artists, suffering under self-censorship. So they did something provacative.
There are firmly held, fiercely protected beliefs on both sides and an escalation of defensiveness.
As the article concludes:
Skeptics will only win the war for rational beliefs by continuing, even in the face of defensive responses from others, to use behavior that is unfailingly dignified and tactful and that communicates respect and wisdom. For the data to speak loudly, skeptics must always refrain from screaming.
Skeptics must remember to always keep their eye on the goal. They must see the long view. They must attempt to win the war for rational beliefs, not to engage in a fight to the death over any one particular battle with any one particular individual or any one particular belief. Not only must skeptics' methods and data be clean, direct, and unbiased, their demeanor and behavior must be as well.
Important stuff for me right now in all my relationships
~Merry