I've been wanting to share some recent events involving my family for a while. I'm interested in any input or advice any of you may have to offer. It's just been a very weird last couple of weeks...
Through a chance set of circumstances I have begun communicating with my younger sister (she is 21). She is still living at home with my parents. We have been emailing for a little over a week now. And we have had two phone calls, exactly a week apart, where we talked for at least an hour.
She admitted to me that she has been inactive as a JW for almost 3 years now. I was shocked that it had been so long. As we talked I continued to get a picture of what life has been like for her since I left ( almost 8 years ago now ). I didn't like what I heard.
My parents responded to my "departure" by clinging ever more tightly to their youngest child. My mother, in particular, has taken control to new heights. Add to this mix the fact that my mother has always been slightly unstable mentally, as well as a borderline hypochondriac. In recent years she has become addicted to prescription medications and has episodes where she becomes hysterical and/or suicidal.
She has repeatedly put my sister in situations that are unsettling to me. For example, my mother forced her to smuggle in extra pain meds while she was hospitalized. This because the nurses saw that she was abusing her medications and restricted her access to it!! My sister casually told me that every time she goes out she wonders if she'll come home to find that her mother has "done something to herself".
Hearing this - having my suspicions about the direction my mother was heading - made me feel very, VERY, guilty for leaving my sister behind in that mess. I look back and still don't see what else I could have done - but that doesn't address the way I feel.
I would love to see my sister break free of the JWs. I think that it would very possibly send my mother over the edge, and I mean that literally. My sister has mentioned moving away and that is a possible alternative - doing the big fade, so to speak. But it takes alot of courage and self confidence to start your life over again in a strange new city - and she may not have enough of either after years of brainwashing.
She has not asked me any questions that would make me think she doubts the JW doctrines. It's like she still half way believes they might be right. I'm so afraid that I'm going to say something that screams "APOSTATE!" and she will never call me again.
It's just so hard to hear her talk about how she admires the JW's for living such clean moral lives. As if they were the only group that does so. I'm hearing all the "dub speak" that just screams mind control and I'm really amazed at how plain weird it sounds to me now. Of course, it's all shes ever known...
So I guess I just needed to vent...Thanks for taking the time to read this. If you have any advice or have been through similar situations before I would very much appreciate any input. Thanks again!