Once we determined that the 'truth' was not, there was much more to do in getting deprogrammed. I have become aware that I have used a few mental games to 'unlock' from the Watchtower mindmeld.
- Cussing. I was never a cusser, not even in private. I now do occasionally use the 'expletive deleted' method of reminder that I am not subject to a legalisitic system any longer. There are still certain words and phrases that I detest and refuse to use because of my personal views. But damn, hell, shit, are no longer on my 'guilt list'. Every time I utter a cussword it reminds me that I am no longer a witness and it makes me smile.
- Refusal to judge others quickly. The watchtower 'quick assessment program' of cubbyholing everyone into a 'label' of one sort or another is a powerful tool. It creates and sustains a we-them mentality. It perpertuates the dominant self righteous judgmental spirit that keeps witnesses from seeing outside the box painted for them. I deliberately work now to see the good in others in spite of outward indicators. Labels that perpertuated my own self elevated delusions as a witness were triggers that tightened the Wt noose. Facial hair, tattoos, hair styles, sexual preferences, religion, philosophy. I do my best to go headlong into understanding those I meet without filtering them now. Not only is this a better way to live, but it loosens the wt stanglehold on my thinking.
- Read, read, read! Talk and listen! I have put nothing out of bounds that will educate and enlighten me. I have intentionally looked into subjects that were off limits in the witchingworld of watchtowerland. I read about other religions, other holy writings, as an example. I listen to Christian radio when it appeals to me. I read history and let myself get involved in the emotion of events, not just as academic exercise. I read and try to understand the perspective of others on this board that have become pagan, athiest, agnostic, born again Christian, practice yoga, martial arts, eastern religion, gnostic faith, etc. I do it to create an open mind. I have had fascinating conversations with others about ghosts, UFO's, spiritualistic experiences. I have sought websites that just give me fresh perspective on subjects of all sorts. I am not seeking 'truth'. I am seeking freedom from bondage.
- New experiences. I am trying to find ways to expand the narrow universe that I was in. One wonderful poster here has offered to aid me in developing 'artistic talent' in poetry. [Of couse she has no idea of the work she has taken on].
My efforts are aimed at 'taking off the new personality' as it was formed by the Watchtower society. I do not wish to become a 'rebel' though without a cause. Just rebelling does little to mold one's true perspective, as it lurks often in the deep recesses. I really wish to root it out. Some traits that became part of me as a witness, I intend to keep. I consider them good and proper and fitting for myself. Others are just clearly part of the cult mentality and mental cliches that hold one into a mindset. These I seek to unlock and unburden myself of them.
What 'tricks' have you used to unlock the real you? Without sacrificing the good parts that came from your witness life?
Jeff