JW Children, Holidays, and Memories

by somebodylovesme 30 Replies latest jw experiences

  • somebodylovesme
    somebodylovesme

    My husband and I were walking through the store today and we passed a display of Valentines -- you know, the kind that school kids buy and exchange in the classroom. I paused and glanced them over, remembering how much I used to love holidays at school. (Husband is an inactive/faded JW; I was never one.) I made a comment about the cards and we kept walking.

    A minute later, my husband told me that he actually used to get lots of Valentines in elementary school, even though he was a Witness. He never gave any, of course, but his friends and classmates always gave him one. I asked what he did with the cards, and he shrugged. He said that since he couldn't take them home -- his parents would have a fit, of course -- that he hid them in his desk at school under his books. He would look at them from time to time at school, and then at the end of the year, he would have to throw them away.

    For some reason, his story just hit me, and (being the sap that I am) I got all teary-eyed right in the middle of the store. I could just picture him, seven or eight years old, sneaking a peek at a Valentine under his math book -- and how wrong it is that parents would forbid their child to receive a note of friendship from classmates. That he had to hide them. That he had to throw away those mementos before summer vacation. That it had to be a secret.

    I just wanted to share that. Anyone else have any holiday stories from their days as a Dub child?

    SLM

  • damselfly
    damselfly

    I always used to get a lot of valentines from my classmates as well. I loved it, it made me feel normal and like I belonged with my peers. I would have never taken them home. I would keep them for a few weeks in my desk and try and get rid of them without anyone seeing me.

    Dams

  • meems101
    meems101

    my dad was not a dub my mom was, fortunately no longer, my brother and i had conflicting ideals growing up. one year we could attend the holiday parties at school the next year we would be taken out. really strange. i remember when i was my mother caught me making a valentine for a very special friend of mine, she voiced her opinions to me and then got out the watchtower and awake volumes from years past and left them open at my place at the dinner showing how valentines day is pagan and we should not celebrate it.

  • juni
    juni

    Hi SLM,

    I can only relate to what my kids went through. Some teachers were very unfriendly towards them because they were witness kids. Some kids also. Staying in the library or principal's office during holiday programs or parties was awful. I would pick them up if I weren't pioneering. I feel terrible to this day - even though they've got past it - for putting them through this.

    Now we have fun w/the holidays. Juni~~~ :) P.S. For art projects that related to a holiday, they would be assigned to do a different art project/picture.

    I wish I had that time back to enjoy these little things with them.

  • poppers
    poppers

    somebodylovesme - what a sad thing to be denied the simple pleasure of being acknowledged by another human being in an innocent display of friendship. Why don't you buy a bunch of those kiddie valentines and make up for all of those deprived years of your husband's childhood days? Sign them with lots of different names and writing styles and so forth - use your imagination; I bet you could think of lots of things to do with them.

  • somebodylovesme
    somebodylovesme

    Damselfly - Normalcy (or at least the appearance of it) is so important to kids. Even though I know that my husband turned out happy and well-adjusted, and that I probably hold more bitterness than he does over it, I still ache for all the kids who were denied those little tokens of friendship and belonging.

    Meems - Sometimes I want to make a shirt that says, "Pagans have more fun," and wear it around town ...

    Juni - I still remember seeing this almost childish light in my husband's eyes on the first Christmas he ever celebrated. We visited my family, and he wasn't too excited about it (he never really got the appeal of it), but man ... by the end of the holiday, he was glowing. At least you have fun with the holidays -- and more importantly, are able to share them -- now.

  • somebodylovesme
    somebodylovesme

    Poppers ... That is such a great idea!!

    Okay. I think I'm definitely going to do that. Might make some homemade ones with construction paper and everything ...

    thank you!

  • poppers
    poppers

    SLM - great! Let us know how it turns out.

  • freedomlover
    freedomlover

    SLM -

    that story about your husband brought back such memories! it made me sad....

    I too remember gettting the little valentines and I loved it. they made me feel really good about myself and really special! I remember in middle and high school that you could do this thing where you could send anonymous flowers to someone you liked with a small valentine message. I remember getting some of those through the years, some guys signing their names, others didn't, but I'd have to THROW THE FLOWERS OUT before I went home from school. it was HORRIBLE!

    such stupid stuff we had to put up with......

  • DaveNwisconsin
    DaveNwisconsin

    I remember how bad it felt coming back from Christmas vacation and the kids would talk about what they got for Christmas. I use to feel bad because we had no great stories to share. Now as an adult I moved in to the Catholic faith. I put up five Christmas trees in my house, sing in the choir at church and do solo work there also. I cherish every Christmas and holiday feeling grateful to be done with the JW faith. The holidays are very dear to me

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit