how have YOU changed since leaving?

by idaho 26 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Quester

  lauralisa - loved your post. The comments about car groups
  in field service made me laugh cuz I can relate! Hey, did you
  ever see that movie "Stuart Saves His Family"? I loved
  that movie.

  Hello to newbies - hungry4life and Karie.

  The biggest change I notice right now in my life
  since leaving the org is I am not as judgmental
  and no longer have that "we/them" mentality about
  people. JW's believe they are right and everyone
  else is wrong and they have to recruit them into
  the religion so they won't be destroyed at Armageddon.

  Now I can just enjoy people for who they are without
  thinking I have to change them or recruit them.

  Quester
• 

  AMOS

  When my dfd sister said to my family (all hot head dubs) that I had changed so much for the better,that I was a different person now, I understood about change from within and not from external pressures, losing my heart of stone and replaced with a heart of flesh. Like the rest, a lot less judgmental, less critical, less thinking that I'm right but also much more sensitive to other's feelings including my own. It really cut to the quick when I heard my mother was visiting locally last week, and my only daughter asked to see her (she was 5 when we resigned 20 years ago) my devout JW mother was "too busy" to see her and her 3 great-grand sons whom she has never seen. Are they punishing generation after generation as well now?
• 

  thinkers wife

  So many great comments! And such commonality. Is commonality a word?
  Lauralisa hit a few nails on the head:

  I truly enjoyed the preaching work, being stuck in a car totally wasting time - hours of it! with gossipy meddling intrusive boring people was my idea of hell.

  The problem was that I could not abide the company of most of the people at the hall for more than a few minutes at a time. So, I had very little meaningful interaction with other human beings

  am not continuously plagued by nagging guilt about what "more" or "less" of whatever I should be doing

  
  All so true!!
  I find true joy in everyday living. Seem to have more time to relax and take care of myself. Which makes it so much better for the people around me.
  Entertaining new ideas and being heard!! What a wonderful feeling!
  TW
• 

  JW83

  Lauralisa, I loved your post too. Freedom - my favourite moments: during the men's final at Wimbledon when Goran Ivanisevic started crossing himself, I got so excited and wrapped up in the game I started crossing myself too! And singing the words to the national anthem at my citizenship ceremony this year - I used to hate having to sit down for that anthem at school like a freak!

  Jayne
• 

  teejay

  I'm much more tolerant,appreciate and love the diversity of people and their thoughts.I respect the differences,and preserve the uniqueness of every individual. Diversity is the strength and source of growth.

  Wow, tina, that sounds really nice!! "Preserve the uniqueness", huh? Waay cool!! Where did you cut and paste THAT from?
• 

  JWinSF

  1. I'm no longer judgmental of people who don't necessarily follow the same path that I do --- JWs are among the mose judgmental people I know.

  2. I make use of the freedom to decide whether or not to try something new based on my own thinking, rather than a group of men's thinking in Brooklyn.

  3. I have an eclectic group of friends that I couldn't have as a JW.

  4. I no longer fear "the world".

  5. I can and do take part in local and national elections.

  6. I can enjoy celebrating "heathen" Holidays such as Halloween and New Year's Eve.

  7. While I still don't "plug into" Christmas, I enjoy attending Christmas parties and have a blast.

  8. I don't feel the burden of having to be "a theatrical spectacle to the world", constantly evalutating what I say or do before acting out of fear that it would badly represent The Organization.

  9. I can enjoy my sexuality without feeling condemned for it and simultaneously hating myself for it.

  10. Perhaps, most importantly, is the universal feedback that everyone [except the JWs, of course] gave me who new me before and after being a JW: That I was a much more enjoyable person to be around, much happier, and just a better person all-around.
• 

  teejay

  bttt