Going to visit staunch jw dad

by Champion 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • Champion

    I know this is probably pointless to some but I just feel like posting to those who can relate.

    I am going to visit my ministerial servant, liasion committe, 85 year old dad. He lives in Florida. I am taking my kids and husband with me. I am so dreading it. I love my father, but all he talks about is Watchtower crap. He literally has no other interest. I mention to him that we will either fly in Thursday night or Friday morning. He then says something about the meeting on Thursday night. So here I am dragging my family down to see him(and my boys really do want to go) and he is concerned about missing a meeting. It so pissed me off.

    I then talk to my JW brother who was just removed as an elder and he says, I know how you feel but be the BIGGER person.

    The only weird thing was I also told him about these JW's questioning my friend in town about me. He then said "don't talk to them". If they find you and tell you they will DF you say "your going to sue them". How weird is that. You profess to be this witness and yet you tell soneone to sue. They are just so brainwashed!!

    I was reading all the different post and deciding if I should broach either the 607/thing or maybe blood issue but I then just say what's the point! It all just seems so futile. He is what he is, why can't I just let it go!

  • DannyHaszard
    but I then just say what's the point! It all just seems so futile

    The people who run the Watchtower are psychopaths and psychopathy trickles down hill.

    I'm not judging your family members,but my JW elder father and my maternal grandmother and many JW's are classic psychopaths they cannot change,we just have to leave them alone.

  • willyloman
    He is what he is, why can't I just let it go!

    You can't let it go because he is what he is - the willing captive of a cult. It might help if you bear in mind that he does NOT occupy the moral high ground in your relationship, just the opposite. With that view, being "the bigger person" might be easier for you. He's an 85 year old man who put all his eggs in one basket and now all the eggs are starting to rot. His reaction is to turn inward and increase his level of involvement. It's all he knows.

  • figureitout

    Wow this is so much easier said then done, but you really need to accept him for who he is.. Ohh god if it was only that easy huh! At 85 he has to be VERY set in his ways and is most likley very happy about it. Plus I am sure once he sees the boys you will see how happy he is and how happy the kids are to see him so let that be your joy during this trip.

    The situation with your brother and dad is not that weird, there is SO much for them to lose not be a JW at this point. It is a matter of survival, yes it really is that primitive and strong. The quit, they die in their mind and that is a strong hold. Plus the family, the comfort levels etc are all huge factors.

    I hope your trip goes well and you can enjoy your time with your aging dad and really enjoy his compnay.

  • joelbear

    my parents are also in their 80's. i've tried logic, bringing up topics that i've read about that don't make sense. they are happy where they are, they've been witnesses for 60 years, they just want to die in peace with their beliefs as they are.

    they don't fuss at me much anymore, after 20 years i guess they have pretty much given up.

    i honor them as my parents and love them and just nod politely if they say something witnessy.

    bless their hearts, they are wonderful people. i just wish the Watchtower hadn't stolen their lives from them. i love them very much.

  • sass_my_frass
    just nod politely if they say something witnessy

    ... wow, massive flashback of Sass' favourite reaction to anything witnessy: *smile* 'yeah! Have you lost weight? You look fantastic!"

  • TallTexan

    At 85, there's probably not much you can do. Just accept him for what he is. It's very hard to visit with someone who wants to talk about the 'truth' non-stop, but he is still your father and just as you don't want him forcing his ideas on you, he probably wouldn't want you shocking his world at 85. Visit with him as your father, as best you can, and know that you were the bigger person.

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