I want to say...

by robhic 23 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Narkissos
    Narkissos

    Wow thanks robhic...

    One great thing about having been a JW is that you know you are not that smart... which in turn can make you a bit smarter.

    To answer your question, I was about 13 when I became a JW. My parents had divorced a few years earlier, and due to the endless custody suits I had remained in a Catholic board school for several terms. It was a very sad period of my life.

    When I learnt my father and stepmother (whom I eventually came to live with) had begun studying with JWs I didn't bite at once. However the first meeting in the KH did it. To me it looked friendly, nice, complex and critical enough (of other religions, especially Catholicism) to be true. And I wanted it to be true -- partly because it was a fresh family start. I instantly forgot all my doubts and objections (only to find them again later), read Make Sure of All Things in a few days, made up with my father and stepmother's Bible study, and was baptised together with them a few months later.

    One year later or so it all went down: I loved school, both the studies and friends. I began to look at the religion with a critical eye, questioned things, turned inactive. But I was still deeply religious and felt divided. One night at the KH I broke down and thought I could not live without God. I prayed that Jehovah would "unify my heart" and started a desperate run from my own shadow. I left school to the despair of my teachers, became a pioneer, and ended in Bethel -- a place which really opened my mind (as many others here).

    I guess the intellectual objections were always there, hidden (how many times did I dream of being on the other side of the door and raise true objections which no real householder ever came up with). In Bethel (especially in the translation department) we could express ourselves quite freely. But I did not take my own objections seriously until I somehow came to trust my own faith. Then the WT doctrinal stronghold went down suprisingly quickly.

    I guess the true question is not how smart you are, but whether you are emotionally ready to trust yourself and pay the social price for it. Quite another issue.

  • AuldSoul
    AuldSoul

    Wow (<--- same here). Thanks, but I don't feel fit to tie the sandal laces of Narkissos or Leolaia. Although, if I wasn't already married I might ask to tie Leolaia's.

    I was born in it, fourth generation maternally and paternally—I didn't stand a chance. Later, there was a wierd combination of wanting it to be true and fearing that it was true that kept me sticking to it. Reading, I did not see. Seeing, I did not understand. I attributed better things to the organization and the people than were actually present. There is no natural affection in anyone that can cut off their family members and treat them as if they are dead.

    Now, I am playing catch up, while trying to help others find shortcuts where I think I can. The biggest turning point (so far) was getting the spine to critically question why God needs men to govern a spiritual organization, when men are inherently fleshly. I'm sure I have a lot further to go, and more sharp corners to navigate ahead. But at least now I am unafraid of finding out what else there is to know.

    Respectfully,
    AuldSoul

  • theinfamousone
    theinfamousone

    well i was kinda forced into it, and yes i ask myself how i allowed myself to be taken by them for so long, then i realised i didnt have much choice... my parents made me, then whenever i expressed any doubt, it would be beaten out of me... i think my saving grace was that i always had an extremely open mind... and i guess the scholarly aspect came from my want to go against everything they said... it was wrong, so i looked to read as much as possible... thats why i left, they didnt want me in university, so i moved out!!

    the infamous one

  • hawkaw
    hawkaw
    The biggest turning point (so far) was getting the spine to critically question why God needs men to govern a spiritual organization, when men are inherently fleshly. I'm sure I have a lot further to go, and more sharp corners to navigate ahead. But at least now I am unafraid of finding out what else there is to know.

    You may have a lot further to go but it sure is nice to have your freedom and freewill while you get there! Enjoy it and never lose it.

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